Page 42 of A Love So Hard

“We’ll have you do a paternity test first to be sure that she is your daughter. We understand that sometimes people’s names get placed on a birth certificate when they shouldn’t be, but once that’s done you will be able to take custody of Ever.”

“How am I supposed to do a paternity test? I live in South Carolina and you said you’re in Virginia?”

“If it’s beyond your capability to travel we can work something out with a local lab near you, but it would be best if you could come up that way you can see Ever. We won’t introduce you then, but sometimes seeing a child will help with the transition more so than seeing the results of a test most people don’t understand.”

“I’ll come there,” I stated quickly. Merc got all the pertinent information written down for me and we made an appointment to show up in the next two days to do the test and get our asses back to South Carolina. There was no way this was going to end up being my child. No fucking way.

“Lucy should be here soon, want me to send her back?”

I shook my head in the negative.

“You have to tell her, man. This is big.”

“I fuckin’ know it’s big, Merc. I can’t tell her. What if it turns out she’s not mine, and then I’ve broken Lucy’s heart with this news for nothing. I can’t…” I continued shaking my head. “I can’t do that to her if I don’t have to.”

“I get it. I’ll ride out with you tomorrow,” he agreed.

“Okay, yeah. Not a word to anyone until we know for sure,” I ordered.

“You know better. Your business stays with you, and I’m here if you need me.”

“Merc,” I called out as he started to leave the room.

“Yeah?”

“What if this little girl is mine?”

“Then you deal with what comes, man. Family’s family no matter how they come to you. You know that.”

“At the cost of my other family though?”

“Come on, D! You really think Momma-Bear Luce out there would leave you over this shit? She knows about the woman. Hell, she was with another man for a long while when you guys were apart. It’s not as though you cheated. You weren’t together.”

“Yeah, but this is another woman’s child I may have to bring into our home. That’s bound to be a bit different than me having to swallow the fact that some other asshole was sticking his dick in my woman while we were apart. She never got pregnant by the other guy.”

“What if you’d found her that day and Toby had been a year younger?”

“If Toby had been the asshole’s?” I asked and he nodded to me.

“Would you have still brought them back to your home, proposed, and claimed your woman?”

“Of fucking course I would have. She’s always been mine. I wouldn’t hold that against either of them.”

“There’s your answer, Brother. If you could do that for her, don’t you think she could do the same for you?”

Chapter 20

(Lucy – age 31, Double-D – age 34)

A social worker showed up today with a little girl, 2 bags of her things, and a box of her mother’s belongings. She also handed over a wad of paperwork for financials the girl inherited.

This is my husband’s daughter. He had told me he only slept with one woman, one night, when I was gone. How could this be? How could I be reminded of this daily every time I look at her? My heart was racing, and I couldn’t bring myself to even look at the girl when she was brought into my house. This was my family’s house, and now the evidence that we hadn’t always been together was thrust in my face. It was my own damn fault that was even a possibility, but it was one I wasn’t sure I could handle. I’d had a hard time even getting over the fact that CJ had been with another woman willingly in the time we were apart. I know that’s hypocritical of me considering I’d been in a full blown relationship with someone. Still, even my year and a half long relationship hadn’t produced a child. I reminded myself then that it very nearly had. I don’t know how CJ would have handled that if I hadn’t miscarried Jordon’s baby all those years ago. What if Toby had been Jordon’s would he still have taken me back? What if I’d had Toby and Jordon’s child too when CJ showed up? I just didn’t know how he would have handled that.

“Can we go into the other room?” I asked, pointing toward the kitchen. “I’d rather the children not hear us discussing things. I have questions.”

“Of course.” The social worker, I honestly couldn’t remember the name she’d given, stated briskly before turning to the little girl. “Will you be all right here for a moment, Ever?”

I didn’t hear a response, but she must have nodded or something because the woman smiled and then turned to follow CJ and me into the kitchen.

---