Page 33 of A Love So Hard

“Sounds like you might need backup,” he offered. I just laughed him off and went after Toby who was screaming even louder. It took me two seconds to scope out the problem. My boy was covered head to toe in mustard yellow, runny, baby poop and he was not the least bit happy about it.

“Oh no! What have you done?” I asked the stinky baby as he huffed and continued to cry while holding out his messy little arms for me. I approached his crib warily wondering how the heck I was supposed to even pick him up.

A deep chuckle sounded behind me. “Where’s the bathroom? I’ll go get the water warmed so you can dunk him. If I may suggest, just pick him up and sling him in the tub clothes and all for now. You can hose him down a bit, then peel the layers off before scrubbing.”

I turned wide eyes on the man who shrugged sheepishly. “My sister has a three year old. I was there the first time she encountered this problem.”

“This is a thing? It’s not just a nightmare I dreamed up?”

“If it was a nightmare, would you have the handsome new neighbor here ready to help you out?”

That caused me to giggle. “Okay, you’re probably right. Let’s do this thing.” I dove in and snatched my son out of the crib, holding him out from my body by his armpits and ignoring the squish beneath my fingers while I tried not to gag. I hurriedly moved him to the bathroom down the hall where Jordan had, as promised, already had the water running to perfect baby bath temperature. As soon as I ducked Toby into the bath Jordan stepped out. I thought he had gone completely, and I lamented the fact because I really wanted to thank him. It seemed that Maggie had left me with a wonderful replacement for a neighbor, and just as he’d said, a handsome one at that.

I hadn’t even considered the mess that had been left behind in the crib until after I had Toby and myself cleaned up. Luckily, I had the playpen set up in there from when we had to do naptime with one of the visiting babies during his birthday. As soon as I got to his room I found Jordan there with my trashcan beside him, kitchen gloves on his hands, and the whole mess in the crib cleaned up to perfection.

“You didn’t have to do this,” I whispered as I glanced around. He’d cleaned up the whole mess while I was taking care of my son. I wanted to weep for joy at the thought that someone had been here for my messiest baby moment to date and they’d helped me through it. It was like God had sent me an angel in my time of need. I’ll admit, it went a long way toward me forming the answer to Jordan’s next question the way I did.

“I didn’t mind. Everyone needs help sometime, Lucy. I’m just glad I was here when you needed me.”

That was when I burst into tears, and ended up blabbering my whole story of heartache to the stranger turned neighbor that was standing in my son’s bedroom bagging up poop-filled trash so we wouldn’t have to continue smelling it. Instead of placating me with kind words about how everything else would get better Jordan just smiled at me. “I’m going to go take this trash outside, and then when I come back I’m going to get your answer.”

“Answer to what?”

“Whether or not the two of you will join me for dinner tonight,” he explained before turning and leaving the room with the remains of Toby’s big blowout. How did a crappy situation end in a dinner date proposal?

I said yes to him.

I don’t know if it was because I was tired of being lonely, if I was just grateful he’d been here to help me during poopapalooza or if it was just time to move on. Either way, I started dating Jordan, and Toby finally had a man in his life. Those same reasons I ran through for dating him were also probably the things that held me back from realizing the position I’d put myself in far too late. Slowly, over the course of the next year and a half, Jordan managed to dictate our schedule, the clothes I wore, and the things I was allowed to do with my own son. I even stopped talking to Maggie when she’d threatened to come put her foot up Jordan’s ass after I told her I walked in on him yelling at Toby for throwing a piece of food on the floor. My world had become warped and I never noticed it happening until the day one of the girls from work told me she saw Jordan out with another woman the night before. He had been out, supposedly entertaining business associates from out of town. I couldn’t go with him because Toby had been running a fever, not that he had asked me to go anyway. Still, the woman from work told me she’d taken pictures of it, and would gladly hand them over to me once they were developed.

I waited until she could show me, which was about two days later, and then I took the copies she had given me of Jordan with a scantily clad woman on his lap at a bar, her nibbling on his neck, him with his hand disappearing up her dress, and I showed them to him and told him he needed to leave his key to my house on the table and that I’d have all his shit that was in my house boxed up and sent to his place. He took one look at those pictures and then threw them in my face. “You had someone spying on me?”

“No, a girl from work just happened to be in the same bar,” I’d informed him.

“You had someone spying on me?” He screamed again. I glanced over at Toby who was sitting in his big boy seat at his table, and my heart started beating wildly.

“You need to calm down in front of Toby,” I told him, and that’s when his hand cracked against my face leaving a stinging burn behind. My hand immediately flew up to cover the spot as tears filled my eyes. I heard, more than saw, Toby start to cry.

“You will never again attempt to tell me what to do, or have me followed. This is such bullshit, Lucy.” Then he came down on me again. This time it was his fist, and I curled in on myself to protect my face. His punches kept coming until he ran out of steam and then it was like whatever rage had overtaken him snapped free and he realized what he’d done.

“Oh my God! Why did you make me do that?” He reached out to help me up from the kitchen floor, but I flinched away. “Jesus, Lucy. You can’t piss me off like that. You should have never said anything. How the hell are we going to explain this?” He paced back and forth, ignoring the fact that Toby was still crying hysterically, but couldn’t get to me because he was belted into the seat. “I know. We’ll say someone broke in and beat you. I found you like this, and…” I stopped listening, because the world was going dark.

When I woke again I was in the hospital and a nurse happened to be standing in my room. “Toby?” I called out.

The nurse came over and smiled sweetly at me. “Your son, right?” I tried to nod, but it hurt to move so I stopped. A look of sympathy crossed the woman’s face.

“I’ll get you something for the pain.”

“No, wait!” I was in a panic now. “Where is my son? Oh God, where is he?”

“Don’t worry, sweetie. He’s fine. He’s with his daddy. He wasn’t hurt in the attack.”

“NO!” I screamed. “He’s not Toby’s dad. That man did this to me. Jordan did this. He’s the one that attacked me. Please! Get my son! Please!” I was begging as a fresh wave of fear-laden hysteria buzzed through my veins.

“Oh my word! I’ll go get the police officer right away. He’s still here.” I nodded as the woman ran from the room. Another nurse came barreling in my room moments later.

“The police have gone to get your son and arrest the man who did this to you. He had already left the hospital and had taken your boy home with him. We’ll keep you informed as soon as we know something,” she quickly tacked on at the end. What kind of person was I that I attracted men who would cheat so easily? Men who took the time to fool you and then… I glanced down at my battered body and cried. What if he’d hurt Toby too?

It was two hours before my son was found in the back of my car, still in his car seat, parked in the backyard of the little cottage I had. Jordan wasn’t there. Thank God it hadn’t been a hot day outside. “Can I use the phone for a long distance call?” I asked the nurse who informed me my son was being brought up now.

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