Page 32 of A Love So Hard

“It was PeeWee’s sister-n-law you fucked last night,” Merc explained.

“Sister-N-Law?” I questioned, trying to wrap my head around what he was saying. “His brother is in his fifties, yeah?”

“Yeah, he is. His wife, Marcy or Marsha or some shit like that is somewhere in her forties man. I tried to tell you that you fucked some old bitch raw. RAW,” he emphasized.

“You mean no protection?” I watched as his head nodded up and down.

“Might wanna get your dick checked, man. Apparently this ain’t the first time she’s stepped out on PeeWee’s brother either.”

“Fucking hell,” I groaned as I attempted to sit up straighter and felt the tumble of whatever was still on my stomach as it started to rise. Merc must have noticed something about my demeanor, because he kicked a bucket my way, and just in the nick of time too. I hurled up the vodka and whatever else I’d mixed it with that was left festering in my stomach along with a boat load of bile before wiping my mouth off with the back of my hand. “Shit. I don’t even remember fucking anyone,” I mentioned. Then I glanced down and realized my damn dick was actually still hanging out of my pants and my jeans surrounding it were a mess. “Fuck!” I gritted out through clenched teeth. “This is not how I wanted to start living my life without Lucy. I knew I should have just gone up to my room last night.” Up to my room now since I couldn’t go back to the one where it had all happened. I’d moved to the farthest corner room upstairs. It helped ease the memories away, both the good and the bad.

“That probably would have been wise, brother. Hopefully, you get a clean bill of health. On the plus side, at least you broke the seal. Now, you can hop on the horse and start plowing through the women folk until one sticks again.” He clapped me on the back. “It’ll be nice to see you not fuckin’ moping around.”

I glared up at him as I tucked my dick into my sex ravaged pants. “I need a shower.”

Chapter 15

(Lucy – age 22, Double-D – age 25)

“Why can’t you just stay?” I was whining and I knew it, but I’d grown so close to Maggie over the past year since she’d delivered my son on my kitchen floor that I couldn’t stand the thought of her and her two children picking up and moving to California with her new man. He was in the military though, and had been stationed in San Diego. He made her happy, and I knew it was wrong of me to wish her happiness away for my own selfish reasons.

“You know why I can’t stay. I wish I could take you and little Toby with us though. I think the west coast is just what you need.”

“Ugh,” I groaned as I slung yet another little boy outfit over my shoulder as I tried to separate the laundry so I could get it put away before company showed up. I still didn’t know that many people, but since I had to put Toby in daycare part time in order to work I’d invited some of the moms with kids in his room to come over so the little ones could play together. I still couldn’t believe my son was turning a year old. My heart fluttered at how quickly the past year had gone by. “What I need is a maid.” I wasn’t joking either. Taking care of a baby all on my own, plus having to work to support him was no joke. I felt like I was tired all the time. I used to read, but now my favorite past time was sleep. “Maybe just a dedicated nanny a couple days a week would work, or a winning lottery ticket. If you could conjure me one of those before you go, I’d be ever so grateful. What I don’t need is to try to move all the way across the country with a baby in tow and no savings to keep us afloat.”

“You could always sell this place,” she said again. It was an old argument. She’d known for the past two months that they’d be leaving soon. Her house had been on the market, and she said the realtor had a buyer for it. She’d be going to sign the papers just before leaving.

I glanced around my little two bedroom cottage house with the view of the bay. “I couldn’t. I actually like it here. Plus, you know this was my grandma’s house before she had to move into that retirement community. She saved it for me. I would feel horrible having to give it up.”

“I know. I worry about you though. Who the hell will you have to count on for anything here when I’m gone?”

I shrugged my shoulders once more. This was also the argument she presented, and it was a good one, because I was certainly scared that my one emergency contact for my son was moving out of state in a couple days. I knew some people at work and I had been friendly with some of the parents at the daycare, but I didn’t really know any of them enough to trust them with my child’s life. I also refused to go crawling home to my family though. My father would take me in without asking a single question. My mother, on the other hand, would have an agenda before I could even pack the first thing. I shook off any thought of my mother. I hadn’t actually seen the woman in person since the day I had Toby. Once we were taken to the hospital I made it clear to the staff that my mother was not welcome and refused to allow her to see Toby or me. My father had been furious with her for causing me to go into labor early, but he was also angry with me for not allowing my own mother to see her grandbaby.

They had left on their retirement vacation two days after Toby was born. The same day I came home with him to an empty house and no one to help. That was until Maggie had invited herself over to cook dinner for me. I’d cried that day, just like I was crying over her leaving me now. She had been my rock when I had no one else.

Two kids showed up to Toby’s first birthday along with Maggie’s three and six year old girls. I wasn’t sure if that was a success except for the fact that Toby seemed to have a great day and that was truly all that mattered. I wondered how he would take the loss of Maggie and her girls from our lives? Would he know? Surely, he would at least wonder what happened to them even if he couldn’t express it. These were the things that rolled around in my head at night when I was too exhausted to sleep. Sure, that doesn’t seem to make sense, but it never failed that the insomnia would creep in right around the time I was ready to drop dead on my feet if I didn’t get a nap in.

Then I would imagine another life. The life I was supposed to be living. The one we’d planned out together, and the loneliness would eat me alive. The sadness I felt over Toby not having a man in his life because his father didn’t want us anymore and my father was afraid to come around because he didn’t want anyone following him. I felt abandoned. Worse, I felt that same abandonment for my son too.

Maggie never did tell me who was buying her house. She simply left a note for me with a cryptic message.

Girl, you are going to thank me for moving out one day soon. Remember to tell me all about it when I call.

Maggie was crazy. So there was no telling what she’d meant by that. At least, not until two days after Toby’s birthday, the day after Maggie left for San Diego, when my new neighbor stopped by to check on the place and have the locks changed.

I would have never known he was there except for the knock on my door. I pulled the door open and there before me stood a man who could have been on billboards selling just about anything and people would have run to buy what he had on offer. “Hi,” I managed to get out after I rolled my tongue back into my head.

His cocky grin told me he knew exactly what kind of affect his presence had on me. “You must be Lucy,” he stated evenly as his eyes travelled up and down my body taking in the whole package just as I’d done to him moments ago.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I knew I didn’t, but my southern manners were as ingrained as ever and I wasn’t about to get snippy and ask how the hell the God at my door knew who I was.

He held his hand out to me. “I’m Jordan, your new neighbor.”

“My new,” I started as I reached out and shook his hand feeling the warmth of another person’s body connecting with mine for the first time in forever. I looked over at Maggie’s house and her little note suddenly meant a lot more. “You bought Maggie’s place?”

“I would have bought it a whole lot sooner if I’d realized what a bonus the neighbors would be,” he told me without a hint of remorse at what he was suggesting.

“Um, well…” Apparently, I was doomed to trip over my own tongue the whole time I tried speaking to this man. Then an exuberant screech cut off anything else I might have failed at saying. “Crap, I have to go get him,” I explained and turned to shut the door, but Jordan had come in behind me when I turned.

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