Page 24 of A Love So Hard

“All right, well, I’m happy for you, brother.” He stood and walked over to my door. Merc blew out a breath before grinning over his shoulder. “Looks like I need to go shopping for a kutte for my old lady now. Thanks a lot, fucker.” With those parting words, he was out the door and I flopped back on my bed. Tonight, everything would be official, and I finally felt the weight of my own anxiety lifting a bit. I’d been worried that I would do something wrong, that she’d see something in the club that she didn’t like, and one thing or other would send her running like before when she took off to Florida. It had been weighing on my mind a lot over the past six months. I’d never been as happy as I had been spending time getting to know Lucy and letting her get to know me. Still, something always felt like we were on hold, still in a trial period. I needed everything to be permanent.

I almost nodded off thinking about exactly how I was going to set everything into motion tonight when there was a knock on my door. “Yeah?”

The door tipped open further and there stood Stiff. I still didn’t like or trust that fucker. I had talked to Timeless about the fact that I didn’t think he was a good fit, but the old man kept waving off my concerns telling me it was just my jealousy talking. Knowing the man wanted my woman got my blood boiling for sure, but it was more than that. It was the calculating look in his eyes all the time. It was the sly way he thought he was slinking around the clubhouse in all of its nooks and crannies when he didn’t think anyone was paying attention. I honestly thought the fucker was working for someone else. I still hadn’t pinned down if it was another club or maybe some form of law enforcement. Either way, no one wanted to hear my theories, because everyone in the fucking club dismissed it as me being jealous.

“Mind if I come in?” He asked while shaking a bottle of Jack Daniels my way. “Thought we could finally bury the hatchet with a drink.”

I just glared up at him wondering what this was really about. He shook his head and chuckled. “Should have known,” he offered up dismissively as he started to turn and leave the room.

“Wait,” I called out. “What’s all this about? Why now?”

He turned back and looked me in the eye. “I get it now, is all. She never wanted me. I took shit too far, because I was young, dumb, and had just enough fuckin’ ego to think there was no way she wouldn’t feel the same about me. It took me a long time to see how fucked up our parents made us about each other. I went one way with it, and she went the opposite. It took a while to realize that shit, but I do. I met someone,” he rushed out. “I fuckin’ get it now.” He ran a hand through his long hair that was looking entirely too unkempt to impress any kind of woman worth looking good for, but that wasn’t my problem. I did remember seeing him in passing with the same woman for a while now.

“So, now that you met someone else you want to bury the hatchet with me over the shit you pulled with Luce?” I couldn’t hide the disbelief in my voice, and wouldn’t attempt to even if I was better at doing so.

He glanced down at his feet, trying to look what? Sheepish, maybe? I wasn’t buying the game he was playing though. “Look, I know I fucked up before. It almost cost me my kutte then, and I love the club. You are the only thing that isn’t right with the club for me, and I know that’s my fault. I did that. I made it so you couldn’t trust me. I get it now. That’s all. I just thought we could share a drink and maybe not forget the past, but at least maybe work toward having a better future. I don’t want Lucy anymore. I know she never wanted me. Even if you had never come into the picture she never would have chosen me. Our meddling ass mothers made damn sure of that. Still, I don’t want this to be hanging over our heads for life. That’s what the club is, it’s for life, man.”

That was probably the only thing he could have said to get me to agree to have that drink with him. I’d spend the rest of my life wishing I hadn’t. He tipped the bottle up to his own mouth and I watched his throat work before he pulled it away from his mouth and handed it over. I took a similarly long pull. When I went to hand it back he encouraged me to take another before also taking a swig for himself.

“One more,” he said as he handed the bottle back. I was about to refuse, but he just grinned at me. “You’ll be fine by the time she gets here. Shit, we all know you can drink any of us under the table with this shit. You had plenty of practice while she was gone and that was all my fault. I insist, one more.”

I took him up on that. Before he could even make it to my bedroom door I felt it kick in, and it wasn’t the Jack Daniels I was feeling. I glanced up and watched his image swim before my eyes. Son of a…

“Nighty, night, asshole. Maybe you should have remembered the lesson you tried to teach her that first night you made me look bad. Never accept an open drink.”

Chapter 10

(Lucy – age 20, Double-D – age 23)

Something was off. I knew it the moment I stepped in the clubhouse and a party was in full swing, but CJ was nowhere to be found. He had told me to meet him and that he would be waiting for me outside so I wouldn’t have to come in on my own. The only people outside were a prospect and a couple whores who looked like they had just been dropped off to attend whatever festivities were going on. When I didn’t see any familiar faces outside I went ahead and found my way inside determined to find CJ. He had given me the number to his pager, but I didn’t see a phone along the way where I could stop and call it. I was already there anyway.

There were a plethora of bodies gyrating and moving around to the heavy music being played through the speakers they had wired throughout the main area of the clubhouse. The hard wood floors vibrated with the sound as I stopped just inside the door and glanced around, taking it all in. One of the men was getting a blowjob over by the pool table. Another was carrying a woman who was only dressed in red panties over his shoulder as he ascended the stairs to my left. I moved in further heading toward the bar so I could check with the man that was working behind it to see if he knew where CJ was.

“I’m still sore,” a redheaded woman called out next to me. She was speaking loudly to the woman standing next to her so that she could be heard over the music. “D really tore my pussy up,” she squealed out excitedly while looking over her friend’s shoulder at me. Something awful tumbled around in my belly at hearing that. None of the men in the club where named D. The only one that came close to that was CJ since his road name was Double-D. “Mmm, it was fantastic.”

“I wonder if he has any saved up for me?” The brunette asked her.

“I don’t know, last I saw him he was going hard at it with Brenda in his room. If he has anything left after the way he attacked me, Jennie, and now Brenda, you should count yourself lucky if you’re summoned back to his room. Hell, it’s a good thing he’s back behind the kitchen so no one can hear her scream.” The two women cackled as I fought not to vomit. There was absolutely no doubt as to whom they were talking about now. There was only one bedroom behind the kitchen.

I moved quietly through the mass of bodies even as I heard someone call out my name. “Lucy? Where’s Double-D?” I knew it was Merc, but I just kept right on heading to his room, because I needed to see it for myself this time. If it was really true, I couldn’t let there be any doubt that someone was lying about it. Johnny had sent me running last time with nothing more than a well-placed lie. I promised CJ I’d never let that happen again.

As soon as I got to the back hall I heard moaning coming from a woman. My gut clenched tightly as I opened the door anyway. There was a naked woman bouncing up and down on a man’s lap right there on CJ’s bed where we’d made love so many times I couldn’t count them anymore. The same place we had talked about what it would be like to start our own family. My stomach rolled again, and I wasn’t sure I could hold back the sickness this time.

“No, he wouldn’t do this,” Merc hissed out as he moved in behind me seeing what I was seeing. The woman riding my CJ turned and glanced over her shoulder providing us enough of a look at CJ that I could see it was definitely him. He hadn’t noticed us though since his eyes were closed. His hands were holding tight to her hips as she moved, and her fingers were laced overtop of his in such an intimate embrace that I didn’t think I’d ever get the image out of my head again.

“This isn’t right,” Merc stated again, the shock evident in his voice. “He had a surprise for you tonight.”

“Oh, I’m surprised all right,” I managed to choke out. “I can take a hint too. Apparently, he was too much of a coward to tell me we were done in a human way.”

“No, I swear to you, this is not what was supposed to happen.” Merc’s voice grew further away as he moved into the room and I backed out. “Something’s not right here,” I heard him say before I spun on my heel and got the hell out of there.

Chapter 11

(Lucy – age 20, Double-D – age 23)

My body ached and an incessant beeping was starting to bang around in my head like one of those nightmares you get stuck looping over and over. My eyes felt like weighted, gritty sandpaper had replaced my eyelids and my mouth was desert-dry. When I finally prised my lids apart one glance around sent me into a mild panic. I wasn’t at the clubhouse. It took a minute for my brain function to kick in and realize I was in a fucking hospital, and I couldn’t remember for the life of me how I had gotten there or why.

My attempt to sit up was an utter failure since it sent a wave of dizziness through me just as I flopped back onto the brick hard hospital bed. The door to the room opened emitting light from the hallway that seemed far too bright compared to waking to the meager lighting in the room I was currently recovering in.

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