Page 2 of A Love So Hard

I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me at his description. “You want me to take a quick look and see if I can find anything?” I asked him, and at his dubious look my smile faltered. I should have known better.

“Um, sure,” he finally called out after seeing my reaction. I moved toward him and his bike and just had a quick look since it was still too hot to mess around with. “I’m thinking you might have two separate issues. See here,” I pointed to the intake. “Looks like you have a leak here, but I’m also guessing you might have a cracked hose or a malfunctioning fuel pump.” I glanced up into Johnny’s bright green eyes. “You notice your fuel not lasting as long as it should?”

He grinned at me then. “Yeah, actually. I was going to take it in to your dad and see if he could help me figure out why, but I haven’t been able to get by there yet.”

“Might make it sooner than later,” I told him as I stood up, our sides brushing one another. “We can wait until it cools down and take a closer look to see if I’m right,” I suggested.

His grin faded some, but his eyes stayed on mine as he spoke. “Don’t worry about it, sweet girl. I’ll take it by in the morning and have your dad help me with it.”

“Oh. Okay, well, good luck,” I told him as I started backing away.

“You running off so soon?”

“Yeah, I need to go get cleaned up and ready for supper before my mom comes looking for me.” I held my hands up that were still tarnished by the grease, oil, and dirt they’d accumulated while I was helping my dad at his garage. “She’s going to flip if I don’t have these sparkling like a southern woman’s hands should be before I come to the table.”

He laughed then. “Maybe you should listen to your momma, honey. You’re too pretty a girl to be covered in motor oil all the time.”

I didn’t even bother responding. I let the smile drop off my face as I turned and moved to go inside. Johnny rushed over and caught hold of my elbow though, spinning me to face him. “Come on, Lucy, you know I didn’t mean anything by it. I just think you’re better than being a grease monkey in a garage.”

“I’m good enough as a grease monkey to know you treat your bike like shit it won’t get you anywhere, Johnny. Now let go so I can go clean up.” With that parting shot I snatched my elbow from his hand and ran into my house. I didn’t even get a reprieve there since my mother was waiting to pounce the minute I walked through the door.

“You keep treating that boy like crap, acting like a man yourself, and you’re going to lose any chance you once had with him.”

“I don’t even want him! I don’t know why you keep telling me that. He’s a friend and nothing more.”

“He’s good for you. Johnny comes from good people, and he’d take care of you. Best of all, he’d keep you from making a fool of yourself trying to run around and act like a man the way you do. I don’t know why your father insists on indulging your little whims, but I’m having a talk with him tonight about putting a stop to it. This has gone on long enough.”

I huffed and pushed past my mother on my way up the stairs of our house to where my bedroom and bathroom were located. I loved my mother, but some days I wanted to just scream in her face. She didn’t understand me, and never would. That made it really hard to figure myself out. It seemed no matter what choice I made that my mom thought if I didn’t follow in her footsteps, as a wife and mother who baked in her spare time, I would never be good enough and no man would want me.

We made it through dinner that night with my daddy hushing momma up every time she attempted to try to tell him how I should be living my life. That idea was reinforced by her edict that she didn’t want me sneaking off to his garage anymore. It wasn’t right or proper for me to be there. I wished my mom wasn’t so darn narrow-minded. You would think she would have grown up a bit differently since her momma supported me in doing whatever I wanted. Unfortunately for me, my grandma had moved to Florida the year before to retire in the sunshine. I don’t know why. We lived in Charleston, South Carolina, and the sun shone here just as well as it did down there.

My dad used to tease that grandma found herself a man down there in Florida, but I knew better. Grandma was so in love with my granddad that the day he died, I think she went with him. Maybe that’s why she needed the extra sunshine, to warm the spaces that were left empty. None of that changed the fact that my momma was hell bent and determined to get her way and keep me from the garage. I knew this, because I could hear them fighting about it while I was clearing the table and putting the food away. They had gone to their room to fight, but it didn’t matter since their raised voices let me hear it all anyway. Their fight didn’t last long. They never did. My momma probably pulled a drama, pretended to swoon, faint, or get a headache where she couldn’t tolerate the sound of people speaking again. It’s what she did when she knew she couldn’t win. She tried for the sympathetic end to it all until she got her way.

“Come on, sugar, let’s go take a walk.” My daddy came in the kitchen and gently pushed me toward the back door. The screen door squeaked on its hinges announcing our exit from the house just as well as the creaky porch steps did once we stepped out onto the beautifully landscaped lawn.

“Are you going to keep me from the garage?” I asked without pretense, because I already knew what was coming. My daddy sighed heavily as if the weight of the world had landed on his shoulders, and it was starting to be a bit too much to hold there.

“Baby girl, your mother is in a snit about you being there, and about you helping out Johnny with his bike this afternoon. She thinks it’s unbecoming, and something you need not be doing.”

I growled out my angry response while my daddy just chuckled at my efforts. “I know,” he managed to get out as he ruffled his fingers through my hair. “The thing is, she isn’t all that wrong.” When I huffed and stomped my foot in frustration he held up his hands. “Now, hear me out. You know where we live, and women just don’t do the things I have you doing at the garage. It ain’t women who bring their vehicles in to be fixed; it’s their men. No man likes to feel emasculated by a woman knowing more about engines than he does.”

“Well, it’s obvious they don’t know jack since they had to take it to a mechanic in the first place,” I argued.

“Yeah, well, they think it’s all right if the person who knows more is another man.”

“That’s stupid,” I argued.

“That may be, but sweetheart, you know how people are. I can’t change everyone’s mind for you.”

“I know that, daddy.” I sighed, but kept marching right around our big backyard with him in tow. “That man today didn’t seem to mind me working on his bike.”

My dad chuckled a moment and then got a stern look on his face. “Honey, that boy,” he corrected, “today at the garage didn’t mind you being there because he had something pretty to look at. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it was his only motivation in allowing you access. He wanted to be able to see you again. Since we’re on that topic, I think it’s important that you know I won’t tolerate that. He’s too old for you, for one. He’s also a member of the Aces High Motorcycle Club. While they don’t mess with underage women, they don’t exactly treat women right either. Most of them cheat on their women, honey. Is that the type of man you want in your life? Someone who will run through all the less than desirable whores that hang out around their clubhouse while you’re at home being a good wife and waiting up for him?”

“I’m not trying to get married to anyone, daddy,” I explained.

“Not now, but one day, Lucy, you’re going to find a man who stops your heart and keeps it beating all at once, and you won’t want anything more than to make him happy. He better feel the same about you too. That man will never be from a motorcycle club. There’s a reason I’m not a part of them, even though I love to ride too. I love your momma more. She wouldn’t tolerate me being her man and your dad if I happened to be in that club.”

“There’s a lot of stupid stuff she won’t tolerate,” I added belligerently.

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