Page 53 of JoJo

Chapter 17

The letter sitting in my hands had been waiting a long time for me to open and read it. Too damn long. JoJo and I had just gotten back from our latest doctor’s appointment, and I saw our baby again. There was no doubt that JoJo had been right. We were going to have a boy. I heard his little heartbeat, and damn if it didn’t fuck up my insides in the best way possible. All of which got me thinking about being a dad, and what it would be like to have a kid, to watch them grow, and try to protect them from everything. That, of course, made me think of Charlie, because you can’t protect your kids from everything. The thought crossed my mind to call our boy Charlie, something I hadn’t talked to JoJo about yet. I didn’t feel I deserved to use his name if I couldn’t even face his final words to me.

JoJo was lying on the bed beside me, taking a nap, as I sat staring at the somewhat aged envelope like it was about to attack me. I needed to do this though, because my wife was right when she called me a coward for having waited for 14 damn years to read it. Charlie would be laughing at me right now. Hell, he probably was laughing at me, knowing him. I ran my finger under the slightly opened, creased corner, and slipped it all the way through this time, finally breaking the seal on the envelope that held Charlie’s last words to me.

The paper seemed too brittle as I listened to the pages rustle while unfolding it. The smell hit me too, almost a musty scent emanating from the thing, signifying the time it had spent waiting on me to read the words within. My eyes burned with unshed tears as I saw his familiar chicken scratch come into view and did my damned level best to hold back those tears so they wouldn’t mar the pages I had in my hands.

Romeo,

I know it looks like I’m getting better from the outside looking in, and I couldn’t bring myself to dash everyone’s hopes while it was happening. I knew better though. I think if there’s a God out there, he just gave me time to make sure I said my goodbyes. Really kind of the schmuck who also gave me leukemia, don’t you think? Go ahead, laugh. It was a sick joke sure, but since I’m the one who’s sick I get to make it. Too soon? Probably not, because you’re stubborn as hell. I’m guessing it took you forever to actually read this shit.

I wanted to tell you I really appreciate all you’ve done for me. You stuck by me when others wouldn’t. Even when your mom tried to make you stop. Don’t be too mad at her for long though, she was just trying to make sure your heart didn’t break when our bromance died with me, man. You shaved your head for me, too. That was epic, man. The fact that you left it like that all this time blows my damn mind. You are, without a doubt, the best friend a guy could ever have. I’m lucky you were mine.

So, listen close now, because these are my last requests and God knows how long it’ll take you to actually read this, you stubborn ass, but this is what I need from you…

1 – Grow your damn hair back already! You look ridiculous. I have a good reason to look this sexy, you need to get your own style!

2 – For God’s sake, DO NOT name any of your sons after me. My name’s kinda unlucky. Just don’t do it. You probably shouldn’t name him after yourself either. Romeo is kinda lame. What was your mom thinking? Oh, and do me another favor. Find a girl named Juliet and date her long enough to be known as “Romeo and Juliet” because that shit’s funny, and your mom will never get over it when you dump the girl.

3 – Live life large, man. Love hard, like you already do, and have fun. Try not to be so serious all the time. The guys at the club are gonna call you “Steel” because you’re so damn hard edged all the time, man. Do you want to get stuck with that name? On second thought, go for it. The ladies will probably love the hidden connotation behind it.

I’m sorry things went to shit, man. I wish I could get better and learn to ride a motorcycle with you. Wish I could join the club, and hook up with all those hot chicks. Make sure you do plenty of that for me. Shit, who am I talking to? Mr. Serious, you’ll probably end up marrying a girl on the first date. If that shit happens, keep her, because I sent her to you by writing this!

I love you man,

Charlie

The letter slipped from my fingers as sobs wracked through my body. Sure, I’d laughed along with his humorous spirit as I read his many jokes, but the kid still managed to see through to the heart of me, even all these years later. If ever there were such a thing as soul mates, Charlie would have been mine, or at least one of them. Not in a romantic way, but in the way of a true friend who just got you completely. He’d be laughing at how “gay” I sounded right now if he could hear my thoughts, but he would also agree with me.

JoJo’s small arms wrapped as far around my broad shoulders as she could manage, the vanilla scent of her body wash flooded my senses as she held me while I wept for my long-gone friend, and the crazy prophetic words he’d left behind. “What’s wrong, Steel? What can I do?” My wife asked in quiet whispers near my ear while I kept my head tucked firmly into the hollow between her neck and shoulder.

“I read it,” I managed to choke out. Her quick intake of breath told me she knew exactly what I was referring to, and she squeezed me all the tighter for it.

“I love you,” she whispered to me before planting a kiss just under my ear. It was the perfect thing. She was absolute perfection. Now, I also had to thank Charlie for her, because I did marry her right away. It wasn’t exactly a date, but we had gone out together, and ended up married. I knew in that moment I’d never be able to let her go. Because of Charlie, but more so because of her. JoJo was my everything now. She understood me in the same ways that Charlie used to.

“He would have loved you.” The words slipped out of my mouth as I thought them. She just smiled down at me as I glanced up into her whiskey-dark eyes. Her hands came up to either side of my face clearing away the tears that hadn’t been soaked up by her t-shirt.

“I’m sure the feeling would have been mutual, baby.”

“You should read it,” I told her.

“What? The letter?” The surprise in her voice was a beautiful thing. Anyone else would have been chomping at the bit to know what my dead best friend said to me. JoJo knew it was a private moment though. I don’t think it would have ever occurred to her to look at it had I not offered.

“Yeah. He talked about you, so I think you should read it too.”

“How is that even possible?” She was sort of nervously chuckling as she asked the question. It was the cutest damn thing, her nervous chuckle. It made my heart swell every time I heard it.

“Just read it. You’ll understand.” She leaned down and picked up the two pages I had dropped and began reading. I saw her bite on her lip in spots where I knew Charlie meant for me to be laughing with him. Her eyes also filled up as she read the words, knowing what they would mean to me. I knew when she got to the last part by her gasp and the way she clutched her hand up to her heart. The teary-eyed glance up at me and the little ‘o’ shape her mouth took on registered her disbelief.

She gathered herself together for a moment, carefully refolded the letter, and placed it back in the envelope before gently putting it on the small table beside the chair I’d been sitting in. Then she gazed up at me, eyes still shiny with wetness and she smirked. “Well, I think we can cross two names off our list then.” Laughter bubbled up from inside of me with the sheer joy I got from her response. It was so in the spirit of Charlie that I couldn’t have done it better myself.

“I love you, babe! So damn much.”

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