Page 9 of Twisted Thorns

"Is everything alright, Avalina?" A gentle voice asks from behind me. I turn to see Sarah, the head librarian. "You seem... troubled." Sarah is taller than me, and she leans down to place her russet skinned hand on my shoulder, her brown eyes filled with concern.

Nodding to buy time, I debate on how to answer. I don’t want to trouble Sarah with my restless thoughts. "I'm just trying to find where I fit in," I confess, my voice tight from the weight of feeling like I was disappointing everyone around me. "How can I get my life back on track and find a job if I can't remember the past five years?"

"Hmm... that sounds rough," she says softly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Not everyone is expecting you to return to your old life, you know. You could try something new."

"Like what?"

"Why not work here? Mavis is about to go on parental leave, and I could use someone to step in for her while she's gone. You know how the library works and you're smart, you'll catch on quickly. Plus, you're here all the time, anyway." She says this last part with a smile.

"Oh, really? I mean, I'm sure there are others more qualified than me who need this position..."

Sarah interrupts my thoughts. "Nonsense. I wouldn't offer if I didn't think you were up to it. We could start with a two-week trial and see how things go."

"Wow. Okay, I mean, yes. Yes, I'd love that." I say, my heart swelling with gratitude.

"Then it's settled. Can you be here tomorrow at 8am? I'll give you a quick rundown on how things work before we open."

"Yes, I can do that."

"Sounds great. I'll see you then," she replies with a warm smile, squeezing my shoulder gently before returning to her duties.

Standing among the towering shelves of books, I feel the fluttering of hope for the first time in a while. The library was morphing before my eyes, shifting from a place of refuge to one of wonder, where I could grow and explore, unburdened by expectations and judgments.

Sarah is giving me a truly precious gift. Space to discover who I am now, away from the prying eyes of my parents and friends who expect the old me to emerge from the cocoon of the wreckage. But I’m not so sure anymore who I am transforming into or what color my wings will shine when I finally break free.

Chapter 5

Avalina

After a few days at the library, I’m beginning to feel alive again. It feels like my life is back on track. Maybe this is what I have been missing from before, a routine that grounds me and helps me feel like I am doing something with my days other than trying to recover the person I was before.

Logging out of my station at the circulation desk, I look up to see Mavis walking over, pushing a cart stacked high with books.

"Oh Avalina, I'm so glad that you accepted Sarah's job offer! I kept telling her she needed to find help while I was on maternity leave and stop trying to shoulder the weight of the world herself." Mavis grins from ear to ear, her light brown skin radiant against the fuzzy pink sweater covering her baby bump.

I chuckle. "You know how Sarah is." Sarah has been the head librarian here since I was in middle school, and she is the one who helped me discover my love of reading. I would walk here almost every day after school and curl up in one of the overstuffed chairs with a book.

"That I do." Mavis nods, her hand coming to rest on the swell of her belly. She notices me packing up my things. "You headed out?"

"Yes, Amanda set me up on a date."

Mavis's eyes widen. "You don’t sound so excited.”

“I’m not," I admit, feeling a wave of frustration wash over me. “It's just… hard for me to connect with people after my accident, explaining to them that there are years I don’t remember.”

Mavis nods understandingly. "I bet it can be tough, especially when you feel you're carrying the burden of your past with you." She pauses for a moment before continuing, "But maybe it's worth giving this guy a chance? You never know what might happen."

Her words strike a chord within me. Maybe I had been too quick to judge Amanda for her idea of dipping my toe back into the dating pool.

"You’re right," I said decisively, surprising myself. "You never know what could happen."

Mavis smiles encouragingly. "Good for you. And if it doesn't work out, at least you can say that you gave it a shot."

I wrap my arms around Mavis. "Thank you. Even though I know that, sometimes it doesn't feel that way."

Mavis returns my hug before going back to her cart. "I'm going to go get these shelved. See you tomorrow!" she waves.

I wave back before weaving my way through the cavernous library, ready to go meet my date.

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