Page 23 of Twisted Thorns

I nod slowly, taking in my sister's ominous words, trying to feign nonchalance when I feel like anger is going to boil me from the inside out.

She clasps my hand, concern in her eyes. "Be careful, Avalina. Some things are better left in the past."

Iris tries to hold my hand, but I pull back, my eyes narrowing. “Will you just stop already?” I hiss, the volume of my words rising as the storm inside of me builds. “You think you’re protecting me, but all you’re doing is suffocating me!”

My feet are moving before my mind does, and the echo of the slamming door rings behind me as I burst outside, my breath coming in angry gasps. Iris’s pleading voice still rings in my ears, pressing me to go let Kieran go. As soon as I'm outside, I get into my car and head home.

I don't get far before overwhelm is threading its vines around me and wrapping tight.

I debate driving to Claire's apartment, but I would have to drive over the bridge by Lockwood Lake and I haven't driven there since the accident. Anytime I've tried, I break out in a cold sweat and my heart races. My therapist suggested I try exposure therapy to see if that would help me get over my fear of the bridge, but so far I've just been avoiding it completely, too terrified of the waves of panic and nausea that come with it.

A frustrated hiss rushes past my lips as I resign myself towards my original destination, arriving at my apartment on autopilot, too consumed by the hot swell of anger and betrayal.

One thing I hated about my life growing up was I felt like choices were taken away from me. That my parents predetermined my path based on how much money we had and how much more they wanted. My looks, friends, hobbies, and education had all swirled around the golden road laid out before me, when all I had wanted was to wander the wooded trail instead.

And if Kieran knew me, he would have known this. Yet he still kept our relationship a secret from me, getting rid of any evidence that we had a relationship. And my sister went right along with it.

I was so tired of others deciding for me, trying to control the path my life took.

Walking through my apartment door, I text Claire.

Did you know I was with Kieran Calder before the accident?

What??? What are you talking about??

Before I can type out the next message, my phone is ringing, the noise loud in my quiet space. I'm not surprised to see Claire's name flash on the screen.

Pressing the screen, I don't even bother with a hello. "Did you know?"

"What? This is a joke, right? You and Kieran Calder? You would have told me!"

I let my head fall into my hands, unsure of what to say. I thought I would have told Claire. I suppose I'm glad I didn't, because this means she isn't another person who lied and hid something from me. But I also don't want to reveal something that will hurt her because I kept a secret from her.

"Avie?" Claire sounds unsure. "What's going on?"

"Can you... can you come over? I need to show you something. I'll explain everything."

"Of course, I'll be right there."

I spend the time waiting for Claire by straightening up and cleaning things that don't need to be cleaned. I just need to move, to release this frantic crawling under my skin that feels like it's going to eat me alive.

I practically run to the door when I hear the knock, opening it as Claire rushes inside, eyes wide.

"Okay, spill. Were you and Kieran together? And you didn't tell me?" Anger swells in her voice at the last part, but I know it's because she's hurt. So am I. Everything feels bruised inside.

I walk over to my couch and flop down, groaning. "I don't even know where to begin. The past day has been a lot." Claire follows me and sits down, tossing her purse and keys on my wooden coffee table.

"Were you and Kieran together?"

"It appears so." I hold up my hands in apology before the questions I can see blooming on her face can begin. "I don't remember it. The only reason I know is because Kieran told me, backed it up with all the deleted pictures off my phone, and I guess Iris knew because she confirmed it."

Claire's eyes grow so wide they're practically overtaking her face. "Hold up. He deleted photos from your phone? Who does that? And your sister knew and said nothing?"

I throw my hands up. "Oh, I know! I told you the past day has been intense. I'm still trying to piece everything together myself."

I tell Claire about the past day, up to when I left my sister's house and texted her. That's when she gets up from the couch.

"Where are you going?"