Page 17 of Twisted Thorns

The whimpers of the rotten man before me turn into a scream. I sigh, pulling my knife back. It is always like this.

The ones that do the most harm are the ones that can’t take the heat. Such a fucking waste. Frowning, I lift my arm up before swiping across Paul’s neck with my blade, sending him to a black oblivion.

This is my secret. This is why I can be the muscle of the Calder clan, why I prefer it rather than handing the job off to Liam or someone else. I kill those who need to be killed, those who abuse and lord their power over others for their personal gain. This allows me to keep my composure, allows me to stay level-headed when I can periodically feed the monster within.

The reputation I receive because of not shying away from dirty work is a plus. It makes folks think twice before crossing me, and I like to think it keeps my family safe.

Liam knows my preference to be the killer of our family, but he doesn’t understand why, and I want to keep it that way. Even though Liam is an open book to me, I only pretend to be as much for him.

The only person I am an open book to is Avalina. Correction. The only person I used to be an open book to is Avalina, but those pages were ripped out the night of her accident.

Chapter 10

Avalina

Kieran consumes my thoughts like a spiderweb I can't shake off, but my focus is on the Preston Gala this evening and my date with Mickey. I’ve dreaded the event all week, yet another reminder of how out of place I've been feeling since I woke up confused and disoriented in the hospital. But I already had agreed and had the dress, so it felt cowardly of me to back out now.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I can't help but think maybe I should just be a coward and hide under my bedcovers for the rest of the night. A night of faces I can't remember talking to me about events I can't recall. I can't help but wonder what secrets are hidden in my gaze. What memories are locked in my mind.

The zip of my emerald gown weaves its silent song up the curve of my spine, Iris standing behind me, her deft fingers working the delicate fabric with care. The mirror reflects a stranger draped in elegance, her forest green eyes wide with a blend of anticipation and anxiety.

"Stop fidgeting, Avie," Iris chides gently, a smile tugging at her rosebud lips. The scent of her floral perfume mingles with the warm air of my apartment, settling like a promise on my skin. "You look breathtaking. Are you excited to see Mickey tonight?"

I smile and murmur my assent as Iris heads back to my closet to find shoes for the dress. While my thoughts about the gala should be about my date, they keep drifting and catching on the dark eyes of Kieran Calder.

Iris interrupts my thoughts when she pops out of my closet, holding up a pair of shiny gold heels.

"What about these?" she asks as I glance down at the green velvet dress draped across my body.

"Those will work," I reply absently, reaching out to grab the shoes. I bend down, putting my feet inside the strappy, glittering contraptions before securing them around my ankles.

Iris comes to stand behind me, assessing my reflection in the mirror as I shift to stand back up. I smile at Iris's gaze in the glass. Her short dark hair is slicked back, and a bright pink gauzy dress adorns her frame. It suits her personality, light and bubbly.

Glancing back at my reflection, I realize I'm dressed like the forest I so adore these days, the rich velvet a lovely shade of emerald.

Iris helped me with my hair, so the dark copper strands are curled delicately around my face. I reach up to take off the necklace I always wear, the rose gold gleaming in the early evening light.

I've often wondered what it means or why I have it, the pendant like a circle with two leaves on either side that weave their way inside the sphere. Looking down at the necklace in my hand, a wave of longing washes through me. For some reason, I don't want to part with the necklace, even though it would look out of place with the evening gown. I decide to wrap it around my wrist as a bracelet, a tether to the person I want to be, no matter how much my past seems to haunt me.

I clasp the gemstone necklace Amanda picked out around my neck. It feels too heavy and out of place there, like it's an anchor dragging me down. But I'm trying to fit in, trying to be a good friend to Amanda, and she picked out this necklace to go with my dress. And I know Amanda is trying too, and she picked the necklace with its flower and leaf design as a nod to my newfound love of the woods and all things nature.

I catch Iris' gaze in the mirror and give her a quick smile. I hope she can't see how tight it is at the edges. Finding my place in life again feels like attempting to wear a coat that is two sizes too small. No matter how much I tug and twist, it doesn't fit me.

I thought the job at the library, in a place surrounded by books I love, would be the answer, but there's still a strain, this chasm between me and my life that seems too large to cross.

The evening air is crisp as we arrive at the Preston Gala, the girls deciding we would ride together and meet our dates there. The grand facade of the building looming before us like a gothic masterpiece. The stone walls are adorned with intricate carvings of mythical creatures, their eyes seeming to follow our every move as we step out of the chauffeured car, the heavy wooden doors beckoning us inside.

I hang back, letting my friends walk ahead of me and admire the colorful picture they make. Claire in shimmery gold, Amanda in bold red, Jessica in a deep blue that she swears matches her finance’s eyes, and Iris in her puffy pink dress.

I want to fit in. I want to belong with these women I watch walk ahead of me, but I feel further apart from them than ever, despite my attempts to find common ground and build comradery over the past weeks.

Shaking off the thoughts, I take large strides to catch up with my friends, my gold heels swishing the soft velvet around me.

Weaving my arm with Claire's, I beam up at my best friend, determined to shake off the feelings haunting me.

"You ready?" Claire glances at me, and I know she understands my trepidation as I nod and walk inside the building.

I can't stop the gasp that leaves my lips as I step inside the ballroom, which is like stepping inside another world.

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