Page 30 of Carpenter's Christmas Bride

“Do we have one about a ballerina?” Walt asked hopefully.

“I don’t think so,” Aidan said, glancing up to find Walt looking at him with a mix of sleepiness and disappointment.

We’re both stuck on Kenzie tonight, Aidan thought to himself grimly.

“But maybe we can get one at the library tomorrow,” he suggested.

“Okay,” Walt said happily. “Do we have Small Pig?”

“We do have Small Pig,” Aidan told him, grabbing the old book from the shelf. It had been a favorite of his as a child, and it tickled him that Walt loved it too.

He sat on the side of the bed and kissed Walt’s forehead before he began, drinking in his sweet scent. Walt wouldn’t be little forever. He was growing every day. It was important to enjoy each age before it disappeared.

“Okay,” Aidan said, beginning the book and taking plenty of time to talk about the pictures.

He had sat down with a single story, fully expecting that he’d have to negotiate a second one, so he was surprised when he finished Small Pig and realized that Walt was fast asleep. He closed the book and rose from the bed as gently as he could, replacing the book on the shelf, then tiptoeing out of the room.

Walt usually liked to have his bedroom door closed when he was sleeping, but since this wasn’t the house he was used to, Aidan left it open. That way if Walt woke up in the night and felt confused, Aidan could easily hear him calling.

As Aidan made his way downstairs and headed for the kitchen, he noticed that the house seemed quieter than he remembered, and he felt more alone. It had been forever since he’d felt that way in a quiet house at night. Normally he was either with Walt or clients, or relieved to have a few minutes to himself before bed.

What would it be like to have someone else here to relax with?

It was an odd thought. He’d been married before. But of course, Sharon had been gone nights and weekends, traveling with Toto TooToo, an ‘80s cover band. When she had gotten her gig selling merch for the duo outside their venues, Aidan had never imagined they would get so popular.

Then they offered Sharon a higher-paid contract to go on a national tour as their head of merchandising, which he was pretty sure was a position they just made up. Even so, Aidan never expected her to say yes without even talking to him about it.

It’s my life, she had yelled at him. I want to follow my dreams.

You’re not even in the band, he had yelled back. You’re just selling t-shirts.

That hadn’t gone over well, and Sharon left the next day, with a promise that she’d be back when the tour was over.

The tour lasted almost six months, and the band broke up right after.

Unfortunately, Sharon didn’t break up with them. It turned out that while Aidan had been home making ends meet for Walt, she had been falling hard for Lonny, one of the band members. Aidan didn’t contest the divorce, and Sharon didn’t want custody of Walt. The whole thing was over blessedly quickly and relatively cheaply.

Sharon kept up occasional visits with Walt after that, which the boy enjoyed. She hadn’t been the best at being a wife, but she was a fun mom, and now that she and Lonny weren’t traveling anymore, she had more time. It hurt Aidan’s pride sometimes to have her around, but he bore it for Walt, knowing it was good for him to have as much time with his mother as she was willing to spend.

Besides, the two of them had married so young, when they were really just silly kids themselves. They’d been infatuated with each other, but hadn’t really thought things through. How could he blame her for wanting a different life?

But it did help Aidan form the strong opinion that the arts made people lose themselves, even when they were only involved peripherally. He would never understand how his sister Lucy loved to read biographies about artists, gymnasts, and writers who were all so obsessed with perfection that they sacrificed their lives to pursue it.

Our lives are all that we have, he’d said to himself at the time. Anyone who values some kind of calling over their actual life isn’t going to be part of ours.

But it was hard to think that way about Kenzie, who had come out on crutches to see the Christmas lights when he canceled their meeting, and spent so much time talking patiently with Walt about each decoration that caught his fancy.

It’s only because she’s hurt, he reminded himself sternly. She’ll be back in New York the minute that boot comes off, and she won’t even remember us a year from now…

10

AIDAN

Aidan pulled up in front of Kenzie’s house the next day feeling calmer and ready to see her again.

He’d tossed and turned a lot last night, in spite of convincing himself several times that it was silly to be thinking about her.

But with the sun came clarity. There was obviously no place in his life for a woman, especially not another one who lived for show business. He’d felt completely back to normal as he and Walt ran through their morning routine.

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