Page 7 of Sea's Secret

I really needed to see Finn, and soon. I needed his comfort.

I will have a family soon–little merlings of my own. This is worth that, I told myself.

Edmar was one cycle older than I was, yet we had been in the same classes and social schools. We swam in the same crowd, and over the cycles, we became friends. With his dark hair, the color of the most vibrant orange coral and his beautiful red tail, he was such a strong and powerful merman, and incredibly striking.

I am lucky–blessed. My children will not have this tail color. He is a good match.

That evening, when the tides changed, we would all swim to the surface under the half moon to celebrate upon the rocks surrounding Marren Island. It was the only reason we ever rose out of the sea. It was customary for proposals and matches to happen under the half moon, during the tide change celebration, and I had finally come of age, eighteen cycles old. I’d never been above the sea before, and I often wondered what the moon looked like up there—what air felt like.

“I can see how much you love him,” Rina sang, touching my hair and beginning to comb out a small section.

“You can?” I was surprised.

“Yes! Of course. I know you are shy, but you cannot deny the energy coursing between you two!”

I loved Edmar? Perhaps, I did. When he was near, I felt different. Was that love? Perhaps, I was in love and did not realize it. Perhaps, when we would kiss for the first time that evening, I would feel the love Rina said she saw. My sisters always sang about their first kisses being very important between them and their husbands.

“What about the kiss?” I asked Rina, tentatively. It was customary that once a proposal of marriage was offered, you accepted it with a kiss. It would be my first kiss. While I had looked forward to falling in love and kissing a merman, I did not believe that I loved Edmar. But, perhaps, I did. I was comfortable around him. There was a steadiness to him that I did appreciate, and he was attentive and kind. Edmar was dependable and obedient. I did love that. Perhaps, it was different for my sisters, but I could love him for that, and for the future children we would be blessed with.

Children of my own.

I smiled.

“See! You are practically glowing!” Rina sang, dreamily. “How adorable!”

For years, I had heard all my older sisters’ stories. They spoke of feeling bubbles in their stomachs when holding hands while courting and having long conversations and kissing. Edmar and I were different, but I had come to understand that I appreciated how steady and dependable our relationship was. And bubbles in the stomach sounded miserable.

“Rina—”

“He adores you. I have no doubt he will kiss you well. Everyone can see how he cares for you. Only let the fear of first kiss jitters be a small ripple in your pool, and you’ll be fine.”

I was grateful for Rina.

“Have you chosen who you want to take her place?” Rina asked, her face turned away from me.

Her. That was all we ever called her–our banished mother who had betrayed our people. I had no memory of her because she was banished before I’d even finished my first life cycle. That was all I knew–that, and that I had her exact tail color.

My mother—she was the reason I had to hide my disgraceful tail. My mother’s tail had once been unique, something special, but after she was banished, the tail color I inherited from her served to remind everyone of the Queen who had abandoned her people.

“You,” I sang, looking at Rina.

“I’ll gladly fill in at your wedding! I am sorry you never knew her–while she has done horrible things, she was beautiful.” My heart felt heavy. I could not help the fact I had never known my mother, yet whenever my sisters spoke of her, it always made me sad. I told myself I should not be sad. My mother had betrayed our people, but something inside of me longed for her.

Rina started playing with my hair again.

“I remember when you were born. She loved you so much and held you constantly. She was proud you shared her tail color. I am sorry that you have it, though,” she sang. It was not her fault, but I appreciated her kindness anyway.

“I don't want to think about her, Rina.”

She nodded and stopped playing with my hair, letting it all float around me.

“Tonight is going to be so magical!” Rina sang, changing the tone of the conversation back to excitement again.

I tried to calm my traitorous thoughts of wishing my mother was still with us and that I could know more about her, and why she had been banished. I needed Finn desperately. He always pulled me away from over-thinking.

“Is Finn on duty tonight?” I asked.

“I think so.”

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