Page 6 of Sea's Secret

I regretted that decision ever since Edmar was the one chosen for me, but that has to just be a test of my loyalty. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with him. He was a desirable mer, and I cared about him—but there was something missing, or so my heart reminded me far too often. Perhaps, after we were married, I would feel better. There were many positives to being married, my favorite one being having a family of my very own.

I wanted babies of my own—to be a mother.

We were encouraged in our kingdom to have as many mer babies as possible. My sisters had at least five merlings each, and I adored all my nieces and nephews more than most things under the sea. I often watched them when my sisters were busy with their kingdom duties, but it never felt like a chore.

Even if Edmar turned out not to be the kind of mer I imagined marrying, I told myself over and over again that once we married, I would be one step closer to a family of my own. That was something I was incredibly excited about. I was sure that in time, I would come to love Edmar after we had children because I would be so grateful for them. While not as romantic as some of my sister’s love stories, that was okay. It is okay. I reminded myself that Edmar was everything a merman should be. It was an honor that he was chosen to be my match.

I was pulled from my thoughts as Rina went on, her melody swirling and rippling around me.

“When I was asked by Dylan, I was so excited. It’s been so long, though,” she sighed with a slight smile.

It had only been five cycles since they married, not long at all, truly. But I did not want to burst Rina’s happiness, just because I was nervous and apprehensive and not overjoyed as she had been on her day.

“What tail dressing are you wearing?” She looked down at my turquoise tail. I always wore a covering over my tail, as my tail was not an honorable color. Turquoise tails had a negative connotation, which I imagined could have been why I always had traitorous thoughts–because my tail was a traitorous color. I wondered if, perhaps, I was destined to be a traitor, myself; it was, after all, in my blood.

My mother.

No, once you pair with Edmar, you will be free from your rebellious nature, I reminded myself.

“Meria?” she asked again, and I tried to shake my thoughts away.

I hadn’t adorned my tail yet with any pearls or shells as was most common when being asked to wed. I was not sure exactly what I should do.

“I’m alright. I will just wear my usual white dressings,” I sang, looking down at my undressed tail as it sparkled in the light of the palace. I felt traitorous for liking the way it sparkled in the dimming Marren Lights.

“Don’t be modest! We should ask Pearl if you can use her pearls. They would look lovely over top of the white!”

I shrugged.

The “pearls” Rina had mentioned were from Darren, my other sister's husband. He gifted her a long string of pink dress pearls for her tail on their wedding day. It was the most exquisite set of pearls we’d ever seen.

“She’s your sister; she can share,” Rina sang with a swipe of her hand.

I didn’t really want to adorn my tail with someone else’s gift.

“Actually, wait! We should ask Coral if you could wear her abalone strand. They have a blue hue that hints at your tail, but not being–”

Traitorous. She wouldn't sing it, but I knew what she was thinking.

Coral popped her head into my bedroom like an eel from a rock crevice, her melody singing that she was excited for me.

“I heard my name.” Coral with her red hair and purple tail swished into my room.

“Meria wanted to use your abalone strand for today,” Rina sang.

“Oh! Those would look so lovely on you! I’ll go grab them!” With a flip of her fin, she was out the door with a slosh of bubbles in her wake.

“Edmar is so perfect for you, Meria. Truly, father has found the perfect merman for you. Plus, with his red tail, there is no way you will have any merlings with your tail color. I heard that somewhere–one of the old mer, I think.”

“That is nice,” I sang with a nod, looking down at my shimmering tail. Even though I knew I should not like the color, I had always thought it was beautiful. Another traitorous thought. My tail matched the sea, and the sea was the most beautiful thing; it gave us life. I pushed the traitorous thought back and looked at Rina. She was still singing to me.

“Maybe, be sure to sing a bit more when with him? Make sure he knows of your affection. Father and us, we know how to read your melody even when you don’t directly sing to us, but Edmar will need more encouragement. Especially today, okay?”

“I sing to him,” I sang softly.

“Of course, I’m just saying be sure to share your excitement with him when he asks you to marry.”

I nodded, unsure of what the right thing to respond would be. I always felt unsure, which is another reason I remained silent. Rina was the sister closest to me in age, and we were the closest out of all my siblings. She always meant well, even when her words hurt me. I could not expect her to sing anything different. The yearning I had for someone to find my tail beautiful, to believe that I was unique and important, and that I was not horrible for having all those inappropriate thoughts swarming within my mind, was so constant. But I should have been grateful. I was a Princess of Marren, and I was going to be matched with the most desirable merman in all the seas.

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