Page 110 of Sea's Secret

He had come for her, her betrothed. I should have known. No one could easily give up such a person, or mermaid, as her.

She is–What is she? She is nothing to me–right?

I shook my head. My heart pierced with a pain that seemed to poison my core, my soul, my very being.

No, she is everything, and of course, I would lose her–lose everything.

She loved him. I heard the words from him, confessing his love, and I saw their embrace.

I had come to the door to tell her that it was time to go ashore, and I paused there, hearing voices. I was too curious for my own good. Maybe, I should have simply knocked. Maybe, then, I would not have had to listen to those sickening words, to the love confession and see the embrace. I knew they had kissed before; had they kissed again?

I had so much pain in my veins and within my history, so that one might think that nothing at that point could even faze me, and yet, that pain, the pain of seeing Meria in the arms of someone else caused an injury that was more acute than any other I had ever felt. I would have taken all the pain I had ever felt before, tenfold, in order to rid myself of that new pain; it seeped inside my heart and my soul. I needed something to take it away. I was going to die from it.

“What is the matter?” Sands asked, far too perceptive for his own good.

“I need a drink.”

“You have water in your pocket, like always,” Sands said as if it were a joke. I turned to him, shoved my fist at his throat and pulled him by his collar into my face.

“I need a drink, now,” I growled at him.

His eyes grew wide.

“You said you would never touch the stuff.”

“I am The Cruel Hand–I lied.”

“What is the matter? Why are you so out of control, right now? This is not like you, Nick”

“Give me something. I need something,” I began to gasp; even breathing was difficult. A man ran past, and I grabbed him, shoving him against the wall. I took off my glove and touched his skin.

“Bring me rum, now.” I felt his pain slither inside of me, and I smiled wickedly, knowing he would do as I asked. The man screamed, and I released him. “Unless you want more–” But he was off before I could finish my sentence. I put my glove back on.

“Nick, what in the seas is going on? What happened?”

I didn’t say anything. I had no idea what to say. A few minutes later the man was back, holding a glass bottle. I pressed it against my lips and drank as quickly as I could, desiring more than anything to feel nothing for once in my miserable life.

“Stop it, you will poison yourself,” Sands said, taking the bottle from my hand. I wiped off my mouth on my sleeve and glared at him. “What is the matter? For all the years I have known you, you have never behaved like this. You have never had a drop in your life.”

“Nothing,” I snarled.

“This is not nothing. Where is Meria?”

“With her lover,” I shouted, turned and walked to the back of the ship.

“Her lover? You are not making any sense,” Sands said, following after me. I took another swig, the drink burning down my throat.

“Leave me.”

“No, not till I know what in the fathoms you are doing!”

I leaned against the railing, waiting, Sands glaring at me, but still silent. I waited for the rum to do its job and numb me–waited for the pain to go away, and I waited for Finn and Meria to appear.

I then saw Finn approach with a smile on his lips. Was he happy to be the winner? He had won Meria.

Did I even have a chance?

Hope was a blasted, vile thing that only opened up my heart to more pain. I would never have such hope again. I should have never wished for such a thing as a normal life–to possibly be with Meria and have a family. A family. I could still see it in my mind, that image I had created of a life I so desperately wanted, and then that mer came and dashed it all against the rocks.

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