Page 59 of Bound By Longing

His room. I’ve never been inside his room before. When I spent the night, I was in the guest bedroom.

Slowly, I head upstairs and to his room, my heart beating with every step. The door is open, and I peek inside. Damien is in his bed, scrolling through his phone. His shirtless chest is on display though a bandage covers a good portion. “I didn’t know you were coming,” he says before looking up at me with a smile.

“I didn’t know I was coming either. I needed to see you.”

“Then come here.” He pulls back the covers, inviting me in.

“Um … I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not? Mila, I’ve tasted your pussy. What are you afraid of?”

A lot of things. But Damien is right. He’s touched and seen my most intimate area. I shouldn’t be afraid of him. It’s not like he’s going to take advantage of me.

I approach the bed and, after a moment, sit down beside him.

“There,” he says. “That wasn’t so hard.”

“I guess you’re right.”

I notice a bag of pink pills on his bedside table. “What are those?”

“Those aren’t for you.”

I huff. “I don’t even know what they are.”

“It’s MDMA.” At my confused stare, he elaborates. “Ecstasy. It makes you feel good.”

“You’ve been taking those?”

“Just once. It helped with the pain for a moment. But I’m not in the habit of taking drugs all the time.” He tilts his head, staring at me with curiosity. “Have you ever taken drugs before?”

“No!”

He chuckles. “I figured you hadn’t. You’re such a good girl.” Even though he means it as a compliment, his words grate on my nerves. I’m always “the good girl.” Maybe I don’t want to be the good girl all the time.

“Could I try one?”

Damien’s eyes widen. “Uh … Mila. I don’t think giving you drugs will make Mikhail happy with me. We just made a truce. I can’t ruin that.”

“But you said all it does is make you feel good. And you’ll be here, watching me, keeping an eye on me. I’d be safe.”

“I’m a bad influence on you.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted when you set your sights on me?” I’m not fully sure where this boldness is coming from. I’ve been kidnapped multiple times. Been used as a pawn for men. And now, I’ve explored my sexuality with Damien. I’m not the innocent, sheltered Mila I once was.

“You really want to try it?”

“I really want to try it.”

With a sigh, he grabs one of the pills and gives it to me. “But you need to stay here so I can make sure you’re ok. I won’t hurt you, Mila.”

“I know you won’t.” For all my doubts about Damien, that’s not one of them.

I stare down at the pink pill in my hands. This is my time to gain agency. To become a woman instead of being a girl the rest of my life.

I throw it back and swallow it.

Within minutes, I start to feel a euphoric sensation wash over me. Everything around me becomes lighter and more colorful and brighter. Damien looks like he’s glowing. I reach out and touch his chest, letting my fingers skim down his skin.

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