Page 21 of Bound By Longing

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t want to?”

“Is that a question?”

I duck my head, fighting the urge to suddenly cry. “No. I never wanted to take risks. I never wanted to upset my dad. He was so proud of me. I would never do anything to risk that.”

“You and your father are close?”

“We were. He’s dead.”

A softness crosses Damien’s features for just a moment before his expression returns to his normal blasé one. “You lost your dad? I lost mine, too.”

“I know. Heart attack is what I heard.”

“Given what he’d done, it was a mercy for him. He never had to face the consequences of his actions.”

“Like what he did to Mikhail’s son?”

Damien clears his throat and stubs his cigarette. “Yes, like that.”

I stare at him more closely, watching the way he fidgets. “You don’t like talking about that, do you?”

“You think you have me all figured out?”

“I think I see someone who feels guilty for something that isn’t their fault.”

“I know what my father did wasn’t my fault.”

I pull my hands into my lap, no longer needing to hide them away. “Yet you still feel guilty, don’t you?”

“Is there anything you feel guilty for?”

“You’re trying to change the subject.”

“Is it working?”

I meet Damien’s eyes across the room. “Maybe.”

“So, is there anything you feel guilty for?”

I think back to my father’s death. He died from a robbery gone wrong. I wasn’t even home at the time. None of it was my fault.

And yet, the reason he was home was because of me.

“My father’s death,” I admit.

Damien leans forward almost eagerly, resting his elbows on his legs. “Tell me.”

I could tell him how my parents returned home when my sisters and I had a show one night. The reason he left early was because I messed up. I made a mistake during the dance, and he was so disappointed in me that he didn’t even stay for the second act. He made my mom go with him, and they returned home while my sisters and I finished our show.

When we came back home, our parents were dead.

My breath comes out faster, and my vision swirls around me. I stand up on shaky legs. “I want to go home now.”

Damien sits back in his seat, looking me over. Finally, he says, “Fine. You can go. I won’t stop you.”

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