Page 62 of Bound By Longing

So … what’s holding me back?

My father tried to kill me when I was a kid. He made me feel unworthy. Then he died, and I was on my own. I’ve been on my own for a long time. I don’t even know how to fully open up and let Mila in.

But I can see it’s hurting her, and that hurts me. Mikhail is right. If I want Mila in my life, I need to commit to her. It’s only fair.

“Is she all right?” I ask instead of telling Mikhail how I really feel.

“She’s calmed down now. The drugs wore off. You need to tell me you’ll take care of her, Damien. Because if you don’t, I’ll have to kill you.”

“We don’t have bad blood, Mikhail. That was between you and my father. I just want to live my life.”

“Well, your life is now entwined with Mila’s. So, either shape up or get out.” Without a backward glance at me, he leaves the house.

I know I have to see Mila again, so I work up the strength to drive to Mikhail’s house. I doubt Mikhail will let Mila come to see me anytime soon.

Sofiya lets me inside the penthouse with a disapproving look. She doesn’t say a word to me as she leads me to the living room where Mila sits.

“Damien.” She scrambles to stand.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m better. I shouldn’t have taken it,” she admits.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Sofiya says.

I glance at her. “Mind giving Mila and me a moment?”

Sofiya shoots me one more glare before walking away.

“Why are you here?” Mila asks.

“Not happy to see me?”

She sighs. “That’s not it. It’s just … when I was … high, I saw something. My father. He told me to be ashamed of myself. We’re not married, Damien. I can’t continue with you if you won’t commit to me. I just can’t.”

Her words are a blow to my heart. “You don’t want to see me any longer?”

“No. I do want to see you. But I can’t be with you, Damien. Not if you’re not going to marry me, and I’m not going to force you into that if you don’t want it. So, I think you should go.”

“Mila …”

“Yes?” She looks at me expectantly.

I know I should tell her I care for her, but … can I get married? I want Mila. I really fucking do. But she deserves better than a man who can’t marry her.

“I’m sorry,” I finally say. “I shouldn’t have let you take the ecstasy.”

“It wasn’t your choice to make. I’m a grown woman, Damien. I can make my own choices.”

“I can see that.”

Our eyes meet, and everything is quiet. It’s just the two of us. I could lean in and kiss her right now. I could make her mine if I just let myself get married.

I take one step toward her when I hear a loud boom outside. We jerk away from each other and rush to the window. Mikhail and Sofiya run into the living room.

“What’s going on?” Sofiya asks.

Before anyone can answer, the smoke alarm goes off.

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