Page 59 of Mob Saint

“I one thousand percent disagree. If Gareth’s men think you don’t matter, or worse, think Gareth doesn’t want you around, I don’t put it past someone to think he’d be doing Gareth a favor.”

“Gareth would never, ever let someone physically hurt me. That’s one thing I’m sure about.”

I run my hand through my hair and consider what I’m going to say.

“Cailín, he doesn’t have as tight a hold on the reins as he thinks. He has men who only obey him right now because it works to their advantage. He has men who would kill their own mother to impress him. If he keeps letting people think you’re more trouble than value, then I’m worried about what will happen.”

“Seamus, what did those cryptic questions mean? Why did my dad blow up when you asked if he knew about whatever it was?”

“I hope I can tell you at some point, but I don’t know yet if I can. I had to know, but I wish I hadn’t had to ask in front of you. If your dad spoke more than a smattering of Irish, I would have spoken to him in that.”

My chest tightens because I think Tiera just figured out what I was talking about. I wait for her to call me out on it. But she remains silent, and that scares me even more.

“T?”

“Later, Shay. Knowing one way or another won’t do me any good if I get too worked up to go in there.”

She knows.

I look into her eyes, and they well with tears. She’s swallowing over and over. When she closes her eyes, tears leak from beneath her lashes. She appears to shrink as her entire body curls into a defensive ball. She pulls her legs up and tucks her head into her lap.

I fumble with my belt and pants. She doesn’t look in my direction. I get them open and push down my boxer briefs before I gather her skirt up to her waist.

“Come here, little one.”

I lift and turn her. Her eyes are still closed, but as she sinks onto my cock, she sobs. I monumentally fucked up. Like possibly worse than I ever have because I’m the reason she’s crying. I shouldn’t have asked. I should have known she’d figure it out. I hold her against me, cooing in her ear.

“I’m here, cailín. I won’t let go. It’s all right. I’m here.”

“Daddy.”

The single word rips at my heart because it’s filled with such despair.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you. I promised to protect you, then I’m the one to cause you pain. Shh. I’ll hold you. Shh. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I’ll hold you.”

I kiss her forehead over and over as I rub her back. I feel the deep inhale before she speaks.

“Daddy, it’s not your fault. Don’t say it is. I should have known years ago.”

A fresh wave of sobs escapes after she speaks. I don’t know what to do to console her. I did this even if she doesn’t blame me. She will later. I so royally fucked up.

“I can hear your thoughts, Daddy. I won’t hold this against you because you did nothing wrong. You asked, so you could be prepared. You asked because it’s an important truth that should have come out years ago. I should have realized Darren caused the accident. I should have figured out my dad knew Darren did it and that Gareth knows what his father did. I’m glad to hear my dad didn’t know beforehand, but I’d never think he did. I know how distraught he was when I came round in the hospital. He couldn’t speak for the first two days I was awake. He’d just silently cry. My mom was the one who held it together for all three of us those first few days. Then the dam broke for all of us.”

“This was a fecked-up time and place to learn all this, though. I should have thought better of this.”

“It’s not ideal, but I’m glad we’re alone. I’m glad I know before seeing Gareth again. I’m glad to know part of the why behind the way he is toward me. I need to be with you like this, and we couldn’t do that if we found out somewhere else.”

I hold her tight against me. I was hard the instant she sat on my lap. I was very aware of her arse so close to my dick while we were on that call. But when she started to cry, I got hard for a reason besides pleasure. This is how we connect. It might be through our bodies, but it goes a lot deeper. This isn’t about getting either of us off. This is about there being no end and no beginning to us. We’re one. We’re a unified force. She’s a part of me when I’m inside her.

“Daddy, I don’t know how you knew this is what I needed, but it is. Being one with you makes me feel safer than I’ve ever felt before. When we are like this, I feel like I can talk to you about anything and everything. I feel strong enough to tell you the things that scare me and the things I need. When we’re like this, I don’t feel alone anymore. I hope one day I can make you feel the same way. Not because I want something bad to happen, but so you know I want to give and not just take.”

“Baby girl, nothing about you makes me think all you do is take. I need this too, and you letting me inside you has a lot of significance to me. You’re a part of me now.”

I thought that to myself, but it feels weightier—has more gravity—when I say it aloud. It feels even truer when I tell her.

“Seamus, I don’t understand any of what’s happening between us. I don’t want to question it because I don’t really care what the answer is. I just know I’m grateful you came into my life. And you make me happy too.”

Our kiss is everything to me. She told me she keeps her wedding photo on her dresser because it reminds her to have hope. Having Tiera in my life reminds me to have hope. This kiss is pure tenderness and affection. Even though my cock’s buried deep inside her cunt, there’s nothing sexual about what we’re doing. It’s wonderful.

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