Page 40 of Mob Saint

I grin. I can’t help it.

“I wouldn’t do anything to keep you from being magnificent on the field.”

“You don’t strike me as a man prone to exaggeration, even if you put on a good show in front of a jury. But you sure are full of it when it comes to describing me.”

The more Tiera shares with me, the more I realize she’s had very little support in her emotional life. It makes me wonder what her parents are like with her. But it’s obvious the men in her life haven’t treated her how they should have. They’ve disappointed her, even if she doesn’t realize it.

“Cailín, I’m not someone who exaggerates. What I say about you is what I see and feel. I don’t have to.”

“Thank you.” She cups my cheeks and offers me a soft peck on my lips. “What about you, Seamus? What do you want or need?”

“I’m not sure. Some things I’ve done in the past don’t appeal to me now.”

“Such as?”

“I can’t imagine marring you with bruises like I’ve left before.”

“Did your subs agree to those? Did they want them?”

“Yes to both. Do you want that? I won’t ask to birch you or paddle hard enough to leave lasting marks, but if that’s what you need...”

“It’s not. At least, not all the time. You said I’m not your sub, so I don’t really know what I want in this kind of romantic relationship.”

“He said you like to be degraded. What did he mean?”

I won’t say that areselick’s name. Just thinking it makes me want to beat his head into a brick wall.

“It’s not so much that I enjoyed being degraded as it was how it fit with the way I felt about myself. But you don’t let me question my worth, so I don’t think I’d like to be called those things if we’re not in the middle of having sex.”

“Such as?”

“Slut, whore. I’d like to hear it while we’re having sex, but not while we’re doing other intimate things.”

“I can live with that. I couldn’t call you either of those at any other time. Did he?”

“Yes. But not like in regular conversation. Only when he gave commands or while I was restrained.”

“Were there rules you want now?”

“No. There was nothing that wouldn’t make me feel like a sub rather than a?—”

“Girlfriend. I meant it when I said it both times. I know we haven’t discussed it yet, but I’ve also told you I won’t share you. I won’t make you share me. I only want something that is exclusive.”

“Casually exclusive?”

“Do you mean do I see this going somewhere serious or long term?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the only way I’d draw you deeper into my life. I don’t know what you know, but I doubt your husband was as senior as I am. I doubt his schedule could be as unpredictable as mine or came with the same dangers mine does. I wouldn’t expose you to any of that if this were just about fucking or a fling.”

She nods as I speak. We’ve skirted this, even though I’ve had to be gone more than once. She’s hearing me out, and I think she gets a lot of the things I’m not saying. She’s reading between the lines, knowing an unpredictable schedule means I could be away far longer than I have been the four times I couldn’t see her. That being away usually means I’m doing some seriously illegal shite. That I’m being a man I hope she never sees up close and personal.

“I wouldn’t bring you near the O’Briens and put you in danger with them if I didn’t want something serious with you, too. I know how things are, and I wouldn’t risk making you Gareth’s personal target if I just wanted to fuck and walk away.”

“Because of the danger that’s already around me and because of the way things are between my family and the O’Briens, I will have some rules, Tiera. Ones that are non-negotiable. They’re for your safety and my family’s. These aren’t about any type of Dom/sub dynamic. I?—”

“What about your safety? I don’t want to do things that might get you hurt.” She cuts in, and she’s emphatic. It makes me smile, and it melts my ice and steel heart.

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