Page 37 of Mob Saint

I watch Tiera head into her bedroom. She doesn’t close the door the entire way. I can see her move to her closet. Does she want me to watch her change? Does she want me to know she’s really making the call?

I look at my phone before I unlock it. I suppose I always knew my relationship with Makayla would end. I always thought there was a greater likelihood she’d meet someone else and want a romantic relationship with them over our physical one. I always thought I’d eventually get bored or no longer find fulfillment with her and move on to someone else.

Never did I imagine I’d be the one to want a romantic relationship, and that’s why I don’t feel fulfilled. Never did I imagine I would call it off over the phone. It’s shitty of me. But I don’t know that doing it face to face is all that much better. Neither will feel good for either of us, but I know I can’t keep seeing Makayla if I have feelings for Tiera. I’ve cancelled on Makayla every time I was supposed to see her since I met Tiera. I’ve blown her off for two months with lies piled on top of lies. We’ve gone this long before, and I’ve lied about that too. But there was always some glimmer of truth when I said I had a family commitment or work.

I don’t want to know whether Tiera’s been with her Dom since she met me.

That’s not true. I desperately want to know, but I have no right to ask. And I have no right to expect that she hasn’t just because I didn’t want to be with Makayla.

I unlock my phone and hit her speed dial. I don’t know whether I’ll get her since she might be at work already. I won’t end it over voicemail. I can be a little less shitty than that.

“Sir?”

“Good morning, Makayla.”

“Hello, Sir. I wasn’t expecting you to call.”

I never call her during the day. Usually we text more than call, but I do sometimes.

“Are you at work? Do you have a moment to talk?”

There’s a pregnant pause.

“I can talk.”

“I don’t enjoy doing this over the phone, but I don’t know that in person is all that much better.”

“You’re ending things.”

“Yes. I’ve met someone.”

“I figured.”

I wince. She doesn’t sound hurt or pissed. Just resigned.

“I’ve kept to our agreement, but it’s time for me to end it.”

“I knew it wasn’t just work that was keeping you away. You’ve been canceling further in advance than when you get called away. I saw this coming.”

“Makayla, you don’t sound okay with this.”

“How can I be? Seamus, there’s a reason my dates went nowhere.”

Oh, hell.

“You told me you couldn’t be emotionally involved, so I accepted that. I tried to find that elsewhere, but I always came back to you. Didn’t you ever figure out why?”

“Makayla, if I’d realized that, I would have ended this sooner. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

“You didn’t. You were clear from the beginning and all along. It’s not your fault I feel more. I guess I just hoped…”

I’m watching Tiera as I speak to Makayla. I shouldn’t spy on Tiera, and it’s wrong to watch one woman while I break things off with another. It’s wrong to have a raging hard on for one woman while speaking with the one I promised to only get hard for. I’m an arsehole.

“I’m sorry I never felt the same thing. You deserve to have someone who can reciprocate your feelings. You deserve a Dom who can give you all that you need without reservation.”

“I suppose I should be glad you haven’t been with her yet. That you kept your part of the arrangement. I?—”

She didn’t sound sad. She sounded like she was about to confess something.

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