Page 19 of Mob Saint

Shite.

I stare at my phone. I’m fucking tired, but knowing I could spend the night tying up and fucking Makayla usually snaps me back. I completely forgot about her. I didn’t think about her once today. I even knew what day of the week it was, but I didn’t think about our usual Tuesday night rendezvous. I usually never forget.

I know why I did.

I was thinking about Tiera instead. I have no ties to Tiera; nothing keeping me from being with Makayla. I could fuck Makayla from behind or with a blindfold on, and picture Tiera. That’s tempting, but wrong. So tempting. So wrong.

Me

It’s been a long few days. Raincheck.

Makayla

This weekend?

We usually spend Saturday afternoon through Sunday night together. It’s not a sex fest the entire time. But between the things we do, the aftercare, the time for us to rest, and then going back through the cycle, we pass the hours. I never sleep in her bed. I use her guest room. She’s suggested and flat out asked me to sleep next to her, and I’ve refused. She hasn’t done it in a long time because I established it wouldn’t happen during the first seven months of our contract. It’s even in the contract. She gave up asking when I never wavered.

I look toward my bedroom. I can picture Tiera in there. In my bed and not just to fuck. It’s fucking disconcerting. I don’t know her nearly well enough for those kinds of thoughts. I should push her out of my mind and go see the woman I’ve been involved with for three years. A woman I know wants me for at least sex.

Me

No but I’ll check on you next week.

I do that from time to time. We don’t have a 24/7 agreement. She doesn’t have to act as though she’s a sub—my sub—when we aren’t together. It means I don’t check on her or monitor her when we’re apart. She does her, and I do me. But when I miss several days, I like to let her know I haven’t forgotten about her.

Except I did.

Makayla

Okay. Get some rest.

Me

Thx

What the fuck am I doing?

Chapter Six

Tiera

What the fuck am I doing?

I’ve asked myself that at least a million times since I spoke to Seamus unexpectedly. Talk about a shock. I nearly fell off my chair when I recognized his voice. I hurried to close my office door before anyone could overhear our conversation, but more importantly, so no one could see how he affects me.

He shouldn’t matter at all. But he does.

I remember when I met Aaron. He was so cute. I thought he was goofy and sweet. He used to make me laugh all the time. It was a reprieve from the intensity that comes with my family. Gareth and my uncle—a kid from my grandfather’s fourth wife—are a few years younger than me. Not enough that I could babysit them, but close. Gareth and Uncle Vince weren’t horrible to me when we were kids, but I was the butt of plenty jokes because I was such a tomboy. Aaron liked that I was athletic and didn’t mind hanging out with the guys. Because we worked at the same station, we had a lot of mutual friends. And since there were only four other women there, it was mostly guys who we hung out with.

I would get so excited to see him, and I loved how he’d steal kisses. We had a blast on our dates, and we also enjoyed time at each other’s places when we watched movies. But I remember finally introducing him to my family. I had to because Gareth came to the station and started bitching at me about missing Sunday dinner. That I was expected to be there when his dad said so. They only invited me that week because I was supposed to falsify a report. I hadn’t.

Gareth laid into me. He stopped when he saw Aaron, but it always stuck with me that Aaron did nothing to stand up for me. He didn’t even ask how I was when Gareth left. I thought he just didn’t want to make a big deal of it while at work. But he never asked how I was doing afterward. I overlooked it. I overlooked it a lot. Hindsight being twenty-twenty, I should have realized how easily Gareth’s dad, Darren, sank his hooks in. Aaron was never going to defend me.

But Seamus.

The man is ready to intervene when someone looks at me sideways. I don’t want him to know the extent of Gareth’s hostility. It’ll only sour the already bad blood between the families. But God, it’s nice to feel like someone cares. It’s been a long fucking time.

And it’s too tempting to let Seamus help me. To let him go to battle for me. To hide behind him. That’s a disaster brewing, but it just feels so good to feel important to someone. But is it a mirage like Aaron turned out to be? Things seemed so good when we got married. I don’t think most people get married, planning for their union to fail. I think some might know they’re making a mistake, but I don’t think most people plan for it or even expect it to fail. When I look back, though, I know there was next to no chance my marriage wouldn’t be a disaster.

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