“You zoned out. Again,” she says empathetically. “You've been staring at that photo all night; are you fantasizing about Paul again?”
My face instantly grows warm at the mention of his name. It's times like this that I hate how easily I blush. I let out a sarcastic scoff, snapping the photo album shut with more force than necessary. “No, I'm not.”
“Of course you are,” Bonnie says, her deep blue eyes twinkling with amusement as she throws some popcorn in her mouth. “You're so strung up on him. Sometimes, it's cute but sometimes, I don't know…” she sighs, letting her voice trail off.
“What do you mean?” I ask, searching her face with a slight frown.
She shrugs and remains silent for a while as if trying to pick her words. “It just seems like you revolve your life around him. I don't understand it, that's all.”
“What?! No, I don’t,” I say, but my laughter sounds forced even to my own ears. “I have a life of my own, you know that, Bonnie.”
“Do I?” She asks, her expression uncharacteristically serious. “Why are you working as his housekeeper when you have a business degree and can literally work in any company of your choice?”
“I got that degree by working for Paul,” I say in my defense. “I was only able to put myself through school because he pays me a fortune.”
Bonnie shrugs, her expression unreadable. “So? Are you going to put your life on hold forever because of him?”
“Of course not! It's just…” I let my voice trail off with a frustrated sigh. “You know how Paul is; he works so much that he forgets to take care of himself… he's always been like that. Besides, I promised Grams I'd take care of him.”
“And you have, for sixteen years, Kayla,” Bonnie says, shaking her head at me. “Don't you think you've kept your promise long enough?”
“He's my friend…”
“One you've been hopelessly in love with almost all your life,” Bonnie counters solemnly. And for a moment, I wonder if it's sympathy I see in her eyes.
“That's not true,” I protest weakly, staring down at the peeling leather back cover of the photo album. Suddenly, I regret taking it out from the old box under my bed. I should have left the memories buried, just as I did my feelings all these years. “I'm not in love with Paul.”
“Deny it all you want but you are,” Bonnie says, her voice gentle. “We both know you've stayed by his side with the hopes that he'll one day see you, and maybe acknowledge your feelings…”
“And is that so wrong?” I ask with a weary sigh, feeling a familiar weight settle heavily on my chest.
Bonnie's expression softens, and she places a gentle hand on my arm. “No, it's not wrong to love someone, Kayla. But it is wrong to put your life on hold for someone who might never see you the way you want them to. You deserve so much more than that.”
I let out a deep breath, my mind swirling with conflicting thoughts. Bonnie is right, but it's hard to accept the truth. I've been holding onto this hope for so long, and the thought of letting go is terrifying.
“I don't know how to walk away, Bonnie,” I say, shaking my head slightly. “I’ve been a part of his life for so long. It feels like... like I'd be abandoning him.”
“Maybe he needs to learn to stand on his own,” she suggests gently. “And maybe you need to find out who you are without him. Honey, maybe it's time to start imagining a life where you're more than just Paul's housekeeper and friend. A life where you're happy, truly happy, and not just existing in someone else's shadow.”
“Maybe you're right.”
"I'm right, Kayla," she says in a firm tone that contradicts the gentleness in her eyes. "Who knows? Maybe there is a young, handsome Prince Charming out there waiting to sweep you off your feet."
For a moment, I try to imagine myself with someone other than Paul, but the image feels foreign, like trying on someone else's clothes. I shake my head, dispelling the thought. “I thought you didn't believe in fairytales.”
Bonnie chuckles, leaning back against the couch. "I don't," she admits, tossing a piece of popcorn into her mouth. "But sometimes, a little wishful thinking doesn't hurt. Besides, you deserve your version of a fairytale, even if it doesn't involve a Prince Charming."
“What's a fairytale without Prince Charming?”
Bonnie shrugs. “Well, for one, you could take that job offer from MedPlus. Being the brand manager for one of the biggest companies in Seattle is no small feat, Kay.”
“How did you know about that?” I ask, staring at her with wide-eyed surprise. I never told anyone that I interviewed for the role or that I got the job.
“I borrowed your computer to send an email and I kind of stumbled on the offer from MedPlus,” she replied with a guilty smile. “Anyway, I was waiting for you to bring it up, but it's been a week…”
“It's just…” I let my voice trail off, shrugging hesitantly. “I'm not sure I want to take that route and it has nothing to do with Paul. I don't think I'm cut out for the corporate world and MedPlus seems like it would be a lot of pressure.”
Bonnie nods her head, smiling softly into my eyes. “I understand, Kay. But I wish you'd given it a chance, who knows, you may charm your way into the CEO’s heart and find yourself entangled in a steamy office romance. That's a fairytale right there, complete with a Prince Charming.”