Page 107 of Heart of a Villain

“That’s not your decision to make. If you’re not ready, tell her that, but don’t put the responsibility of your feelings on her. With me and Eesh, it was a little easier because I was in recovery. And although the asshole never…you know…he still hurt her. She was forced to…touch him, and I’ve blamed myself for that every damn day since. Eesh would have chewed through her feet to get back to me and the boys.”

“That’s the part you hate, isn’t it?” Adrían asked. “That she sacrificed to get back to the boys and you.”

“Yeah. I die for her. Not the other way around.”

Giorgio said something else in Greek.

Thanasis left the table.

Adrían set down his fork, suddenly overwhelmed by too many things to name. He should have picked up on it sooner. The air left his body when Sayeda first started talking about getting her power back. As much as he’d prayed she didn’t say what she’d said, he’d known it was coming. He’d seen the atrocities, and had he not made the split-second decision to join Chamas, he would have been a “gift” himself.

It wasn’t lust he’d seen in the eyes of the higher-ups. There had been a creepy, eerie sort of ease. An acceptance that they’d grown so entitled that bondage was the only thrill they could muster. Many people already knew the world was a sick place, but knowing was several million times better than witnessing.

“All I keep thinking is…where the fuck was I?” he said. “When this was happening, where the fuck was I?”

“If you could have done something,” Joel prefaced, “you would have. You know that, and I’m sure Sayeda knows it.”

“What if?—”

“Don’t go making bad shit worse. Trust me.”

“But I saw a body, and just like that, I gave up. I should have done more. If I’d done more, she might have been with me. If not with me, somewhere safe and far away from Chamas.”

“Maybe, but my father always used to say, ‘Look forward. If you try to walk while looking behind you, you’re going to trip and fall flat on your face, and people will point at you.’”

Adrían managed another weak laugh.

“You’re a protector,” Joel said. “I’m the same way. Knowing that the person you care most about in the world was suffering when you weren’t there, knowing all the shit you’re capable of, is one of the hardest fucking things you’ll ever experience. You’re forced to face how easy it would have been to end that motherfucker’s life, but you weren’t there, so they had to endure. That’s why you don’t need to go making torture for yourself. Save the torture for what you’ll do to Lorenzo’s ass.”

Joel patted his shoulder.

They turned toward a sound that resembled something sliding, like a body moving across a solid surface. Thanasis returned, dragging a woman behind him, the woman going from standing to falling to her knees, over and over, her fingers lodged between the rope and her windpipe.

“I have found her,” Thanasis said. “I can go now.”

Giorgio didn’t answer.

Thanasis didn’t leave.

Gage faced the woman. “Love, you’ve been following us since we showed up here at the hotel. Do you want to tell us why before we let T here crush your trachea?”

“Do you really think I didn’t spot you in the lobby?” Adrían asked. “You’re just lucky your cousin was too caught up being jealous to notice it was you. The agreement was for you to say away from Central’s shit. Like it or not, we’re Central’s shit.”

“This is Hannah?” Dez asked.

“Yes, I’m Hannah,” she said. “And I’ll explain why I’m here, but can one of you call off your murderer first, please?”

“I can go now,” Thanasis echoed.

Dez pushed out Thanasis’ chair with a kick. “Sit, kid. Give Wren a break.”

“How? I try. I cannot.”

“You control, or it control,” Giorgio said.

Hannah coughed.

Thanasis looked at her, made a noise that sounded like a drawn-out “e,” and released the rope. Hannah fell to the ground on her hands and knees, sucking in large gulps of air.

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