Page 17 of The Wanted Prince

I seized on that, jumped up and strode to the nightstand. Dug out a notepad and an old banged-up pen. When I tried a test scribble it still wrote okay. I sat down, self-conscious.

“So. Where to start?”

Laura toyed with her hair. “At the beginning, I guess. Anyone you can think of you’ve ever rubbed wrong. We should list all their names, then whittle them down. Put them in order of most spiteful to least.”

I stared at my blank pad, trying to focus. Trying not to wonder, if Laura slipped off her robe, if she’d be nude underneath. I couldn’t shake the image of her turning her back, letting it slide off her smooth, perfect shoulders. Maybe she’d smile at me as she bared her long back, as, inch by inch, her robe fell away.

She snapped her fingers. “Earth to Alessandro?”

“Sorry. Just thinking.” I tapped my pen on my pad. “Let’s see. There’s the Count of Alvare. I pantsed him one time. He was wearing those training pants that turn blue when they’re wet.”

“You what? You pantsed him? As in, pulled down his pants?”

I grinned. “We were five. What can I say?”

“Well, I’d hope you said sorry.” Laura clucked her tongue. “But I think we can leave him off, unless he’s still mad.”

“I don’t think so. I hope not. Haven’t seen him in years.” I frowned. “But how far back do we need to go? Prep school? Or college?”

Laura lay back, stretched out on the bed. I tried to ignore how her hem climbed her leg. “We should go by severity, more than by time. Like, if you ate someone’s breakfast, they might stay mad an hour. If you stole their girlfriend, they’d hate you for life.”

“For life?” I blanched.

“If it was true love.”

I scribbled down three names, then crossed one back out. He’d moved on too fast to be holding a grudge. When I looked up, Laura was frowning. It struck me at first that she might be jealous, and a hot spark flared up in me, then died away. She didn’t look angry, but deep in thought.

“Is there anyone you can’t think of without feeling bad? Anything you’ve done you’d kill to take back?”

One name sprang to mind before any other, but I pushed it back down, burning with shame. Still, of all the people who might want to hurt me, with the time and resources to ruin my life…

“Who are you thinking of?”

I shook my head. Two more names bubbled up, as though shaken loose by the motion, and a wave of bad feelings billowed up with them. I scribbled all three down and covered them with my hand, as though Laura might know them. Might guess what I’d done.

“Maybe this is your chance to make peace with your past.” Laura’s voice was gentle. She sat up and smiled. “Hey, are you all right? You’ve gone kind of gray.”

I set my notepad aside and set it down on its face. Still, the names burned up at me, mute accusations. “I’ve been thinking all day about how this could hurt me. All that’s at stake for me, my good name. My family. But sitting here now, with this list, these people…” I picked up my notepad and put it back down. “I’ve taken a lot from them — not always on purpose. But through malice or ignorance, the effect is the same.”

Laura swung her legs off the side of the bed. She leaned in to settle her hand over mine. “That doesn’t mean you deserve this. It doesn’t make it right.”

“Maybe not, but I feel like if we were listing my friends, my real friends, the people I’d trust with my life… I feel like that would be a much shorter list.” I turned away from her, feeling exposed. What did it say about me, that I had more foes than friends? What did Laura see in me, in my scribbled list?

“Your family still loves you. I’m certain of that.”

I flinched at the memory of Father’s disgust. I tried to remember, had his lip curled up? Or had I imagined that, filled it in later? Was his distaste a product of my own guilt and shame?

“Hugo wouldn’t speak to me when I moved to New York.” Laura’s smile drew down, turning to sadness. “I’d text him and email him, and he wouldn’t write back. But we’re close again now. We found our way back.”

I sat up straighter. She was right. I did trust my brothers. Even if Father never came round, they wouldn’t stay mad at me, at least not forever. We had enough goodwill banked that we’d come back to each other. But besides Dom and Carlo, who could I trust? Who were my closest, my most loyal friends?

“Why did you come with me? You didn’t have to.”

Laura tugged on my hands till I came and sat next to her. Then she leaned up against me. “You can’t do this alone.”

“And that’s the only reason?”

“No, not just that.” She shifted against me, rearranging her robe. Her leg pressed against me. I could feel her warmth. “Last night at the ball, I was so glad to see you. I mean, I was worried people might talk, but more than that, I was relieved. I could always be myself with you, right from the start.”

---