Page 15 of Baller's Surprise Baby

“It’s not that! I know her! She’s my little sister’s best friend!“ I cringe as I say it. What kind of moron am I? What the hell was I thinking? Only, I know exactly what I was thinking because I’ve been thinking it non-stop for two weeks, and now I’m freaking out.

“I just left her, man. We stayed in the hotel together last night.” I pause to try to describe what must be one of the best nights of my entire life, but I end up just shaking my head. “There are no words, man. No words. It’s never been like this before.”

“Is that so?” Daryl’s lilting tone says he’s clearing teasing. “Sounds like Ryder wants to ‘ride her’ again.”

“Man, the woman’s never going to talk to me again. I left her! I just…just left! I had the best night of my life, literally found the woman I want to be with for…forever! And what do I do? I panic! I panic like some kind of teenager, and I bolt for the hills. What the hell?! What kind of moron does this?!” I’m so anxious that I can’t get the words out fast enough. It’s like it wasn’t real until I said it, and now I can’t make it stop. Daryl’s voice interrupts my rant.

“Whoa there. Hold up. I can see she’s gotten under your skin, but this is fixable. There’s no need to panic. I once got a woman fired and accidentally broke her nose in the same day, and she still slept with me that night.”

“Dude, that girl was messed up in the head. I’m pretty sure she ended up in a psych ward after your roommate called the cops on her.”

“True. But all I’m saying is, these things can be fixed.”

“Look Daryl, she’s got me turned inside out. You know me. I’m hot on the court but cool as a cucumber with the ladies. I’ve literally never run out on a woman before. I’m telling you, we fucked. She blew my mind, and then I woke up and I was staring at her and I could see it all.

“I could see the future when I looked at her, and it was us going on vacations together, decorating a house, making babies. I’ve never once thought about getting married, and I woke up this morning thinking about it. It’s literally all I can think about. I want my ring on her finger.

“Daryl, level with me. Have you ever known me to skip breakfast for any reason?”

“Hell, no.”

“Hell could literally freeze over, and I’d still sit there eating my breakfast burrito. You know that.”

“You have never said truer words.” Daryl’s response would be comical if I hadn’t possibly just ruined the best thing – next to basketball - that ever happened to me.

“I fucking fell for her man…I fell for her, and I started dreaming about church bells. And all of a sudden I didn’t know myself anymore. This isn’t me, and I don’t know how to handle this. What the fuck do I do?!”

I stare out the windshield on autopilot as I try to process my new reality.

“She’s got me…she’s got me by the balls.”

“Well, if we didn’t have the game I’d say to hell with it, turn around and go get your girl, but… it looks like you’re royally fucked.” Daryl’s answer isn’t comforting, and I feel my shoulders slump in defeat as I answer.

“I’m the biggest idiot of all time.”

“Yeah…but your three-pointers are the shit. So…” Daryl trails off for a minute and then after several seconds of silence, I hear him heave a deep sigh.

“Alright man, here it is. I don’t know what’s going on with Curves and Cam, but this is what you’re going to do.” There’s no give in his tone, and something about it calms the chaos in my mind. I subconsciously straighten in my seat and wait to hear his next words.

“You’re the champ. You hear me? You’re a two-time MVP, an All-star, and last year you were an All-NBA selection. You’re on a straight trajectory to the Hall of Fame, on a multimillion-dollar contract, and a man who sees the game better than any other player I’ve met in my life. You’re a god-damned visionary. You don’t just play for the Mavs. You work magic each and every fucking time you step on that court. You, Ryder Jones, can do anything. And if this girl is it, then you’ve got your whole life to make this right, all the time in the world. Ya feel me?”

“Okay…”

“You’re gonna come over here, get your shit together and play like the titan you are, and we’re going to pound these mother fuckers into the ground.” I nod my head again. Hell yeah. I can do that.

“Then you’re gonna go and buy your girl something nice. You’re going to take her out to a nice restaurant and you’re going to apologize like a grown-ass man. And then you’re going to woo your girl and show her why she can’t live without you in her life.”

“Woo her.” I mumble it to myself. The age-old plan, lay on the charm. I take a minute to process, and I can hear Daryl rummaging around, still with me but on the move. A second later his voice comes through again.

“So, she’s your sister’s best friend, huh?”

“Yeah, we’ve known each other since junior high. She was living with her aunt. She and my sister are about four years younger so we weren’t really close, but she was always there.”

“They good people?”

“Yeah…yeah, they’re good people.”

We end the call a moment later, and I stare at my phone before setting it on the seat beside me. It doesn’t help that I’m separated from the team the day of the game. Everything about this situation sucks balls.

---