Page 63 of Thrones We Steal

“Do you have doubts about being queen?”

I slide the tarnished claddagh ring over my finger. “You know I do.” It’s a whisper, echoing through the still room.

He slips his arm behind my shoulders and pulls me into him. He is familiar, warm, and solid—stability incarnate—which is nothing but a facade since he’s the most irresponsible human being I’ve ever met. Nonetheless, I allow myself to soak up his strength for just a moment.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asks, keeping his voice hushed. I guess neither of us is willing to disturb whatever ghosts might linger in the corners of the room.

“Tarring and feathering comes to mind.”

“Okay,” he says. “What’s the worst that could happen in this century?”

I attempt to shrug, but with my shoulders trapped under his arm, it comes out as more of a snuggle. “I go down in history as a terrible queen. I waste this opportunity.”

He doesn’t answer right away, and I find myself grateful that he doesn’t offer the glib response I expect. Finally, he rests his chin on my head and says softly, “C, you couldn’t be terrible if you tried.”

It’s so unexpected, and so sweet, that for a second I’m left spinning. He smells like a pine forest and soap, and I can’t help the way my head inclines toward him. I need his warmth through the thin fabric of my robe. I need his reassurance that I can do this, that I have what it takes.

“How do I know this isn’t just a ploy to sabotage me?”

“You don’t,” he says. “Therein lies the fun.”

“The fun will have to wait,” I say and shift myself out of his embrace. “Right now, I need to get to bed before I fall asleep in a sitting position.” With my head on Henry’s shoulder.

He stands and grabs my hands to pull me up. Pins and needles torment my feet as blood returns to them. I stamp them on the floor and follow Henry out of the room.

When we reach the door of my suite, he waits while I unlock it. “Thank you,” I say and turn to face him. “You were right. No regrets.”

“You’re not alone in this, C. I hope you know that.” The look in his eyes converts my knees into the consistency of jello. He brushes a strand of hair from my face, and his fingers linger, brushing my neck and drawing goosebumps to the surface of my skin.

It’s a betrayal, the way my body responds to his touch, craving it while my mind screams run.

“Henry,” I whisper. It’s meant as a warning, to both of us, but comes out sounding like pain-filled desire.

He understands the warning all the same and drops his hand. His eyes are laced with regret.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I can’t handle it if you hurt me again.”

I manage to get inside and close the door before sinking to the floor and allowing the tears to fall. I am doing everything right, or bloody well trying to, but it still isn’t enough.

No matter how long I stay away, how well I avoid him, he can crumble my defenses in the space of an hour. He’s always had that ability, even when we were young. It’s what made him the best friend I’ve ever had.

It’s also what destroyed my whole world.

Henry is my kryptonite. I know that. He knows that.

And for that reason, for my own safety and well-being, it’s imperative I stay away. If I don’t, it will be like a hurricane when it comes, and it will destroy absolutely everything. Just like the first time.

20

“Wildest Dreams” - Taylor Swift

“The sea-foam green is classic,” I say and hold the tea-length dress against myself while looking in the mirror.

“Yes, but the yellow is a total showstopper.” Maisie shimmies the bold pencil dress in front of her on its hanger. “You’d look like a babe in it.”

“I’m not sure babe is the look I’m going for at the hospital opening.”

Now that I’m officially a working royal, a calendar has been created for me that puts Rosalind’s from my youth to shame. I’m expected to attend various events on behalf of the Crown, sometimes with the whole royal family, other times on my own. In the four weeks since the wedding, I’ve already become a patron of three different charities, lending my name and thereby, my support. Maisie estimates my schedule can accommodate roughly five hundred more.

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