Page 56 of Broken Halo

I’ve shed more tears for Trig than any one person deserves in a lifetime. They came equally for my love and hate for him and even more because I didn’t know which one I felt most.

Hate and love—the deepest of all emotions are the ones that can wreak havoc on your soul. How many nights did I wish for an apathetic heart?

I drag Griffin up to my shoulder and stand. “I need to get him to bed. I’m sure he’ll wake up and I’ll never get him back to sleep.”

He follows. “Wait. You didn’t take anything.”

I balance Griff as I grab my bag. “Figure out what you don’t want and leave something for me. Give it to Jen and I’ll get it eventually.”

“It doesn’t matter. You can have whatever you want.”

I shake my head and head to the door, desperate for an escape. “Anything is fine.”

“Don’t go.”

Spending time in Faye’s thoughts was hard enough. I can’t sit around with Trig Barrett and talk about why my emotions are always on the brink of eruption.

Not looking at him, I push my way through the front door and try to steady my voice but it doesn’t work. “I can’t do this. I’m done pretending this shit between us isn’t raw. I have too much to worry about and everything to lose. My priority is Griffin and I can’t juggle anything else—especially you—without falling apart.”

Griffin starts to fidget and fuss as I try to wrestle him into his car seat. Trig is on my heels the whole time. Griffin’s cries escalate so I slam his door and yank at mine, but before I can open it all the way, Trig grabs it, holding it where I can’t get in. “Dammit, Ellie. Griffin is upset. Come back in, let him sleep, and we can talk. It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“It does,” I insist.

Just when I don’t think I can take another moment in his presence, he steps in and puts a hand to my face. It’s not rough and it’s not gentle. It’s just like Trig always was when we were together—commanding but not controlling. Caring but not mushy. Strong but not forceful.

Just fucking perfect.

He doesn’t stop. He presses his body to mine, big and strong and he feels good.

He’s going to kill me.

He drops his head and our foreheads touch, and just when I think he’s going to kiss me, he demands, “Come inside.”

I realize I’m gripping his shirt at his abs as his heavy breath sweeps my skin. I shake my head and make myself push away because Griffin is tired and needs his bed. “Let me go.”

“Ellie.” My name is a plea and I wish I knew why.

I shake my head and shove at him one last time. He groans but steps back.

I get in my car, slam the door, and throw it in reverse. I do my best to ignore everything—Griffin crying and Trig calling for me. And I don’t allow myself to look into my mirrors because I know he’s there, standing in the middle of the street, watching me speed away from him.

Fuck. I can’t get a handle on anything.

15

Life Altering

Tuck the hate away and let your love shine like a beacon.

Ellie

“Are you okay, Ellie? You’ve been quiet. I’m at a stopping point and might grab a coffee. Can I bring you anything?”

I look up from my laptop and Quinn is standing in my office doorway. I am quiet because I’m tired. It took forever for Griffin to fall back asleep after I left Trig last night. I shouldn’t have stayed so late. I tossed and turned into the morning hours. If I got a couple hours of sleep, I’d be surprised. “I’m good. You go. Get some fresh air.”

Hands down, Quinn has been my best decision since I bought this building. She already has the payroll software up and rolling, she’s taken over coordinating the painters and electrician, and she’s sweet, fun, and didn’t run away or judge me after witnessing my drama with Trig the other day.

Because, really, who wants to see their new boss being carried away during a crying jag by a strange man in a suit?

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