Page 87 of Gifts

Asa gives me a grin before saying to my son, “Let ‘er rip.”

Knox does what he’s supposed to do before backing up to stand with the rest of us. Saylor kills me a little more when she tries to climb Asa, as if being three feet farther off the ground will get her closer to the action. Asa picks her up and swings her on his hip just seconds before the rocket erupts.

I don’t even look up. I can’t tear my eyes off the image in front of me—Asa holding my daughter in one arm and his hand on my son’s shoulder as they all watch the sky.

“Isn’t it cool, mom?” Knox looks to me, his eyes shining and his face jubilant.

I don’t even need to see the rocket parachuting to the earth to agree. “Yes, baby. It’s amazing.”

Asa ruffles Knox’s hair and gives Saylor a bounce. “Let’s go get Levi and Emma.”

I barely take in Saylor prattling on about the puppy’s name or Knox recalling every detail from his rocket launch. I finally have to force myself to move, only this time I’m not wondering how this is my life, but if this is my new normal. Our normal has been off for so long, I don’t even know what normal looks like.

Chapter 22

Desperation

Emma

I used to be really good at math. It was my best subject, but as I stare at the parabola in front of me, I just can’t. Paths, slopes, symmetrical open planes … throw in some gravity? It might as well be Latin, which I’m scheduled to take next year. Maybe that will help with Geometry since my resting-bitch-face of a teacher has told me I’ll probably end up repeating the course. My GPA is going to be so screwed.

I knew high school wasn’t going to be a barrel of fun, but I never thought it would be miserable.

I feel my phone vibrate in my sweatshirt pocket, which is weird because hardly anyone ever gets with me anymore. I peek at Bitch Face—it isn’t hard since she moved me to the front of the room. She’s faced to the side, pecking away at her laptop. She’s probably tattling on me to my dad, or trying to coerce the rest of my teachers—the nice ones—to join her on the dark side. The bitch side. Or maybe she’s trying to convince Keelie I need to be in her class another year for more torture.

This makes me smile, because even though Keelie won’t come right out and refer to the bitch-face as Bitch Face, she did come right out and promise me I’d never be in her class again. She said she sets the schedules for her students and would make sure of it. And since we’re living at her house and my dad is in so deep, I believe her. I’ve never seen my dad like this, so I don’t see things changing anytime soon.

I take a chance and pull my phone out of my pocket while she’s not glaring at me. It’s not a text, but it is an Instagram DM. I frown when I open it because I have no idea who it’s from, but it is pending my approval.

I gasp when I see it, letting my phone crash to the floor. All the blood drains from my head, and when I look up, Bitch Face is glaring at me.

Shit.

*****

Asa

Not knowing if I’m pissed, worried, or relieved, I jog out of the barn where the men are sparring and pull up Keelie’s number. She’ll only answer if she’s alone at her desk, which rarely happens, but I don’t have time to text.

Thank fuck, she answers as I’m climbing into my truck and I hear her smile. “This is a surprise.”

She and I have been settling in over the past few weeks. Since Levi and Emma got home from California, Keelie has slowly come around. When I realized what was freaking her out, I quit pressuring her and decided to move forward. In time, she’ll realize I’m here to stay.

Emma, on the other hand, hasn’t come around at all. Getting her a puppy might’ve given her something else to focus on, but she’s nowhere close to getting back to the person she used to be.

I don’t like waiting. Waiting makes me fucking crazy on a good day, but it seems the women in my life need time, so I’ve given it to them. I’m a fucking plane circling a shit storm, waiting for weather to clear so I can land.

Just a few minutes ago, something happened, but I have a feeling it’s going to throw more fuel on the fire instead of calming the seas.

As much as it kills me, I have to ignore the smile in Keelie’s voice and demand, “Pull Emma from class. I’m on my way.”

“Why?” She’s not smiling anymore, and she really won’t be when she sees it, too.

“Just do it, baby. I’ll meet you both in your office. I’m leaving Crew’s now and will be there in five.”

“But,” she pauses and I hear her typing away. “It could take a few minutes to get her out of class and you’re ten minutes away, at least.”

“Just get her.” I speed down the two-lane road to the highway. “And trust me, I’ll be there in five.”

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