Page 118 of Sohut's Protection

So he’d kept the thing.

The very thing that had led to the Hedgeruds finding them…finding her.

His physical pain turned emotional, churning in his stomach and he almost doubled over.

It was like when he was a chid and his mor had decided to send him and Riv to the mines. It was the same feeling all over again.

“But, momor, I don’t want to go!”

“Shut your phekking mouth. Look at me! I cannot. No longer can I do this alone.”

“But momor…”

“This is your fault, Sohut. Remember that. I could deal with Riv alone…but not you. Not you and your weakness…

Remember that you are the reason your mor has to beg on the streets of Dragxul because you are weak. I rue the day you fell from my body…you pest.”

“Mor…”

“This is your fault. It is your fault your saran left us. It’s your fault you’re going to the mines. You are weak. No Merssi should be as weak as you. You are a curse from my womb. A curse upon me, a curse upon your daran, and a curse upon your brother.”

A curse.

A failure.

All because he’d been a sickly child.

He was the reason his mother had sent him and Riv to the mines. He was the reason his brother had had to shoulder so much.

He was the reason his brother had lost his tail.

He was the reason his brother, the only person to have loved him, had almost died.

Till this day, he hadn’t told Riv about that conversation with their mor.

He couldn’t.

How could he say he was the reason his brother’s entire life had been upended?

He didn’t have the gonads to.

And so he’d taken the field jobs. At least then, he was useful. He was of use and such jobs caused him to stay away from the Sanctuary as much as he could, just so he didn’t have to face the recluse his brother had become because of him!

He should have run away that day after his mor had said those words.

But he didn’t.

He’d been weak.

Too weak to protect Clee-yo.

As his labored breaths began to calm down he was vaguely aware of a sound at the edge of the fallen trees.

Squinting in the darkness, he caught the shape.

Wawa.

The slizz snarled at him, racing at him through the darkness. He only managed to catch Wawa mid-air.