Olive was having trouble processing everything.
Stella throwing the drink.
Stella standing up for herself and for Olive.
Stella’s warm hands on Olive’s hips, her laughing as Kevin O’Halloran waddled back into the ballroom with his metaphorical tail between his legs, face dripping. “I’d be worried about him telling his father about this, but given the number of HR complaints about him already, I don’t think he’ll dare. God, that felt good.”
Olive’s phone was a lead brick in her hand. The bomb about what Lindsay had said and done tonight waiting there. The delayed grief about Jake beginning to push through the crumbling barriers in her mind. She was shaking. She could barely keep hold of her clutch.
Stella’s eyes darkened as she turned back to Olive. “Are you okay? You forgot your coat at the table. Esther saw you go out through the kitchens.” She went around behind Olive and pulled the wool coat up over her arms. “I don’t want you to get sick again. You’re still only a few weeks out from that bad pneumonia. I know that it’s just a myth that cold can cause—”
Olive cut her off by lifting the phone with the screenshots Derek sent. The comments were beginning to get nasty about them, judging from his subsequent texts.
Stella’s eyes darted around. She swiped through, expression becoming stony. “Shit, she put this on Twitter and Instagram. How did she get this?”
“She went to my apartment. I talked to her and tried to get her to take it down.” Olive leaned on the wall. “I’m sorry. I forgot she had a key.”
Stella’s forehead furrowed. “So she didn’t break in? She had a key? You just left the binder out when you knew your jealous ex-girlfriend had access to your apartment?” She squeezed the phone in her fist before handing it back to Olive. “Maybe… I mean, my bosses don’t read random Instagram story threads. No one’s going to put any stock in what a random ex says about you. Maybe this won’t affect the job. Maybe they won’t see it. But oh god…” Stella held a clenched fist against the brick wall.
“You’re mad at me?”
“I just meant it seems a little thoughtless to forget about Lindsay having the key.”
“I’ve had kind of a lot going on in the past year, Stella.”
“Right, I know. I get it.” Stella didn’t appear entirely convinced. She still wasn’t even looking at Olive. She couldn’t even make eye contact with her. “None of what she’s saying seems credible especially with your history. Honestly, she just comes off a little crazy. Don’t worry, this shouldn’t impact you too much.”
Crazy. This was the same word Lindsay had used after watching Olive have a panic attack the first time. The same word she used at the hospital when she talked about Olive and Stella’s relationship. Now, the word hit Olive just where it would hurt the most.
“Shouldn’t impact me? My name’s being plastered around the internet. Exactly what I was worried would happen.” Olive paced back and forth outside of the hotel, her ankles screaming from the height of her heels. “You don’t understand. I told you. After Jake saved that kid there were posts plastering his name and face all over the internet. Everyone was talking about his story. People wrote horrible things. I’m never going to forget it. I’ve told you about how this kind of thing makes me anxious.”
Stella finally looked at her. “It was awful what happened to Jake, but that’s not going to happen with this.”
“What if—”
“It won’t. In any case, soon I think I’m going to have my promotion, and all the events will be over after tonight.” Stella paced back and forth in the small space. Her heels clicked beneath her with each step. Again, not meeting Olive’s eye. “None of this matters.”
Over after tonight.
“It doesn’t matter?” Frustration was now added to the slew of emotions roiling in Olive’s gut. “The promotion is still all you can think of? Are you even listening to me?”
“You don’t understand what it’s like to be under this much pressure. My job is stressful, and this is what I’ve been working toward my entire life.”
“Because being a nurse in the ER is just picnics and rainbows? I don’t understand what it’s like to have a high-stress job? Are you kidding me?”
“I just meant that it’s not like nursing was your first choice. I mean, you sort of just went into it after the art history thing didn’t work out. It wasn’t your lifelong dream. Being a captain at an airline is a really big deal.”
Olive recoiled as if she’d slapped her. “Yeah… okay…”
Stella turned back to her, regret lining her face. She clapped a hand over her mouth. But she couldn’t take that back. It didn’t matter to her. Because Olive didn’t matter to her. That was what she was saying.
It was the confirmation of everything Lindsay had said. It would never work. Stella had always known it wouldn’t work, because yeah, Stella had big dreams. How could anything in Olive’s life or Olive herself compare to the things Stella wanted? They couldn’t.
She should have listened. To everyone.
“Oh my god, Olive. I’m so sorry. I was stressed about tonight, and I didn’t mean—”
“This was a mistake. God, my mom was right about putting my name out there too. I should have known… I don’t want…” All of her worries and anxieties from the past weeks were slamming into her at once.