Page 90 of The Book Swap

He looks at his watch. “Funny time to do it.”

They’re gone before I can reply.

I wonder if Erin’s reading the book right now. If she’ll at least give me that final chance to explain myself. Everything I haven’t been able to say in her presence is in that book. Between that, and my notes in the margins, she has all of me. Now it’s up to her.

I need to do another coat, but it needs time to dry. I look through the books in my suitcase and choose Rachel’s Holiday by Marian Keyes, settling down beside the library.

At some point, my phone rings.

“All okay?” I ask, seeing my parents’ landline.

“All good,” Dad says, back to his old ways. “I just got a royalties cheque from PRS.”

“Oh yeah?” Smiling, I pull myself up so that my back’s straight against the brick wall behind me.

“Reckon I’ve got enough money here to buy so many copies of your book, you’ll top the charts!”

“That’s great, Dad! But maybe spend it on a holiday. Something for you.”

“There’s enough for that too. Your mum’s already started researching.”

Worry rumbles through my stomach, but if she’s getting ill, it at least feels more manageable now, with Elliot here to help.

“You deserve it. Hope you’ve sent your thanks to DJ Tenderbass?”

“I have. He’s coming round for a cuppa when he plays the Cheese & Grain.”

I laugh at the thought of a world-renowned DJ at Mum and Dad’s kitchen table, having a cup of tea, but I’m starting to learn that things are never as straightforward as you think they will be. Sometimes opportunities come much later, or in a totally different shape, or not at all.

“Well, say hi from me, and congratulations again, Dad.”

At some point the sun appears from behind a cloud, shining down on me with such intensity that I feel like I’m under a spotlight. Eileen is my costar, dazzling the world with her makeover. The sun arrived out of nowhere, and I don’t know how I know what it means, but I just do.

My heart starts racing, a smile breaking across my face as the footsteps start echoing from under the bridge and toward me. They aren’t a surprise. I know they’re coming just as I know who’s responsible for the shadow that now falls over the pages of my book, spilling darkness across my notes in the margin.

Squinting, I raise a hand to cover my eyes, and I look up.

“I loved it,” Erin says, holding out my book, and I stand to take it from her. Our first in-person book swap.

I flick through it, not sure what I’m looking for until I see the words written on the blank page at the back.

Meet me in happy ever after?

Dropping the book at my feet, I reach out and put my arms around her. She moves toward me, until she’s close enough for me to do something I’ve imagined doing for half of my life.

As I bend my head toward her, she lifts her face to meet me, and my lips are on hers immediately, unable to wait a second more. I pour everything from the last fifteen years into it, making sure she’s in no doubt as to how I feel about her.

My entire body feels as though it might sink to the ground. I’ve got no control over myself anymore. It takes everything in me to stay standing. To keep hold of her.

Distant footsteps pass behind us as she parts her lips and I move closer still. I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel like I’m close enough to Erin. It’s always been that way.

“I didn’t like the ending of your book,” she whispers when we pull apart, her forehead pressed against mine. “This one is much better.”

“I’ve always been ready for it. I’ve just been waiting for you.”

“You told Joel we should be left in the past.”

Shaking my head, I hold her hands and pull them toward my chest. “I thought that’s what you wanted. It was never what I wanted. I want you, Erin. I’ve only ever wanted you.”

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