Page 34 of Soaring and Saucy

“Enjoying a moment with my wife.”

“I already told you…”

“And I told you that I’m going to get it taken care of,” he interrupted in a firm whisper. “Don’t ruin this, Oscar the Grouch. Everyone knows Elmo is the favorite puppet.”

“And I suppose you are Elmo?”

“Wanna tickle my belly and find out?”

“How did I know you were going to make that dirty somehow?”

“I’m innocent,” he chuckled softly by her ear. “But I hoped you would make it dirty.”

“Don’t you blame your lecherous thoughts on me…”

“Are you sure you aren’t a librarian?” he asked, kissing her earlobe softly, and Stephanie shivered, trying to pull away out of his arms. This was getting too close, too affectionate, and she needed to hang on to her frustration right now. She wasn’t going to be one of those women who just swoons and melts into some guy’s arms every time he schmoozes her after he makes a mistake. “‘Lecherous’ is a fancy big word, princess.”

“Quit calling me princess.”

“Fine… wife.”

“Not that either.”

“Well, okaaaay,” he drawled, chuckling. “Baby-batter-baker?”

“Uggggh!” she seized up, jerking his hands off of hers, and turned to glare at him, holding a spatula aloft like a weapon. Lance was laughing so hard at her reaction, grinning wildly. “You’re disgusting!”

“You don’t like that one either?

“NO!”

“Gestation Station?”

“Still noooooo…” she drawled pointedly. “You don’t have to give me a nickname, and we’re not a thing, you know.”

“How about ‘Roo’ since you’ve got a little ‘joey’ in the ol’ puddin’ pouch?”

“ENOUGH!” she snapped, tossing the spatula at him angrily. Lance curled his body, turning slightly away, laughing even harder now. “You are being ridiculous and disgusting at the same time. No wonder you are single – you are abhorrent!”

“More big words?”

“SHUDDUP LANCE!”

“Awww, my little ‘Marsupial Mama,’” he chortled, holding up his hands defensively as he blew her a kiss, enraging her further. “What about ‘Pancake’? Cause a pancake ain’t done until it’s been flipped on both sides, and I distinctly remember flipping my woman,” and his words trailed off as his laughter echoed off the kitchen cabinets.

Stephanie let out an unholy snarl of disgust, turned to pick up a water-filled glass in the sink, complete with bubbles, and threw it at him. The glass bounced off his chest, shattering on the floor between them - only to see his smile falter as water dripped down his chest.

Oh crap, she thought, frightened. She had never gotten so angry or upset like this and usually took everything in stride, but he had really pushed her buttons. If you lumped together all the time she’d spent with him, including time sending emails and texts – it probably was less than a day. He was a stranger to her, despite claiming they were married – and in that instant, the water doused his uniform. She had a horrible thought. Is he going to hit me?

“Enough,” Lance said quietly, looking away from her. “I was just feeling playful with the person I admire the most.” Her mouth dropped open in shock at his words as he continued. “Go sit down on the couch, and I’ll clean this up, Stephanie.”

And he turned away from her, untucking his shirt to take off the wet garment. Her hand reached out to touch his shoulder, to apologize, yet something in her withdrew slightly, preventing that touch.

“Lance…?”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry.”

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