Page 25 of Soaring and Saucy

“I soooo do not have this handled,” she muttered, still typing.

And I thought I would share my information again since I haven’t heard from you except for the registry email notification. I’m not sure visiting in person is necessary. In fact, you stay there. We can communicate like this.

You’re busy.

I’m busy.

You have your life. I have mine. I believe you put it succinctly when you said as you were leaving that morning, ‘You’re you. I’m me.’

You were right.

I’ll update you in a few months on how the baby is doing.

All the best,

Stephanie

She clicked ‘send’ on the email – and threw her phone into the passenger seat cushion before grabbing another stalk of celery. Biting into it angrily, she chewed with a tearful vengeance, trying not to start blubbering again as she sat there in the parking lot under a tree in the shade, enjoying the warm breeze.

Cursing angrily as a tear rolled down her cheek, she grabbed a handful of Doritos, cramming them into her mouth, before scooping up a blob of blue cheese dressing and crunching down on everything in an abhorrent show of table manners, chewing and crying.

What am I gonna do?

A week later, she was walking up to her apartment door, when she saw the Amazon package on the front porch. She was in between paychecks, so that wasn’t her package. Picking it up, she glanced at the address so she could drop it on her neighbor’s porch and hesitated.

It was addressed to her.

Confused, she tucked the box under her arm and got out her keys, unlocking the door quickly. Maybe this was something from a while ago that she forgot was on back-order? Yanking open the kitchen junk drawer, she grabbed her box knife and grimaced. That thing always scared her, but it was ten times better than the cut she’d inflicted upon herself a few years ago opening a box and mistakenly sliding her palm across the cardboard. Who knew a cardboard cut hurt sooo much more than a simple paper cut?

Opening the package, she paused.

This wasn’t a back-ordered item.

It was gift wrapped.

“Noooo,” she mumbled under her breath as she withdrew the bag and hesitated. A slip of paper fell onto the floor, and she wasn’t sure if she should look at it first – or open the bag tied neatly with a bow.

She opted for the bag.

Pulling on the bow, she unfastened it and held her breath as she opened the bag slightly only to hesitate for a moment in sheer confusion as she withdrew a container branded with a logo that claimed it was a ‘Healthy Coffee Alternative’ – made with mushrooms.

… And gagged.

“Oh yuck,” she grimaced, turning it away from her eyes quickly. That sure wasn’t what she was expecting, and had no clue as to who sent the gag gift to her. Pulling out the next item, she saw it was prenatal gummies and started to get a slightly uneasy feeling. The next item was a tiny book labeled simply as ‘Mocktails,’ followed by a thick baby book that matched the one nearby on the couch.

Stooping down, she picked up the Amazon gift note and sighed.

I was looking around online, and coffee is supposed to be bad for the baby, so I thought this might help?

~ Lance

He was researching pregnancy and baby things?

Obviously, he sent this to her before getting her email, which only made her feel worse. Sighing again, she put the container on the counter warily, making sure the bright pink and blue mushrooms were turned away from her.

Opening the fridge, she grabbed a package of sliced watermelon and a bowl of leftover chicken casserole, unbuttoning her pants and kicking off her shoes. She was exhausted, hungry, emotionally worn out, and just wanted to shove food in her face, put her feet up, cuddle in a blankie, and watch television until she fell asleep and did just that.

Four days later, Stephanie was ignoring Natalie and Lila’s whispered plans for the next girl’s getaway. She wasn’t going no matter what they said because she was still dealing with the last one. Finishing up the deposit, she faltered slightly at the sound of her cell phone going off. She had gotten a text message and forgot to put it on silent.

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