Page 75 of Caribbean Crush

“I’m glad you like it.”

“More than like it.” She turned fully and looked down at her wineglass, running her finger over the rim before glancing up again with a troubled expression in her dark-brown eyes. “I do feel like an idiot, you know. Dropping you the way I did.”

I cleared my throat. “Viv—”

“No.” She shook her head. “It took a lot of courage to come down here and face you. Mira’s had to listen to me go over this speech a million and one times, and it’s only fair that you should hear me out.”

This was extremely assertive coming from Vivienne, so I nodded and waved for her to continue, giving her the floor out of respect for the time we’d shared together.

“I’ve missed you so much this last month. More than I thought possible.”

She paused here, I think, to give me a moment to share the same sentiment, so when I stayed quiet, her brows tugged together in slight frustration. Only for an instant, though. Always, always, she goes back to her natural state: a placating Pollyanna.

“It’s so lonely without you. It’s only right that I should admit to you now ... there was a man, at work.” When I sat up a little straighter, she hastened to get out her next words. “Just a friend, nothing more. Though I will say, a part of me had thought of what it would be like if we were to develop romantic feelings for one another.”

I could barely believe it. Vivienne thinking about cheating? It was as far fetched as anything I’d ever heard. So unlike her that I couldn’t even feel jealousy, only astonishment.

“After things ended between us,” she went on, “I sought him out and let it be known that I was single. He asked me out on a date; I accepted, and well ...” She shivered thinking back on it. “I absolutely hated it. He was so forward, so absolutely brazen. He really thought we were going to”—she lowers her voice—“have sex after only going on a handful of dates!”

I had to tamp down a laugh, as if I had a tickle in my throat.

I didn’t realize we were still playing the chastity game. Vivienne was hardly a virgin, though now I recall her being slightly prudish. To each their own, but I just don’t think it’s all that crazy for grown adults to have consensual sex. It’s hardly something to clutch your chest about.

“Why not try it?” I asked casually, both because I wanted to see if maybe I could ease her suffering and because I couldn’t help the urge to rattle her a little.

Her eyes widened. “Sex with a veritable stranger?” she hissed with disgust like I’d just told her to lick a New York City subway turnstile during rush hour.

I couldn’t help it; I thought of Casey. I missed her with a force that made me feel sick. I could imagine her face as she listened to this conversation, a private smile fighting to break free on her lips.

“It could be fun,” I said with a shrug.

Vivienne shook her head adamantly. “No, absolutely not.”

“Okay,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So then what happened?”

Her spine straightened again, her pedigree showing in her tone and stance. “Well, I came to my senses, of course. I realized what you and I had, and I couldn’t believe I’d just walked away from it willingly. I thought maybe I wanted a little something more. Oh, some flowery romance or something, but let me tell you.” She waved her hand like her words were a nuisance, and her voice grew haughtier than ever. “It’s a nightmare out there. These men have absolutely no respect!”

“Right.”

My casual tone caught her off guard. Maybe she was expecting a little more sympathy, but so far, I hadn’t heard anything worth sympathizing with. If anything, I was grateful for this moment. Real, honest closure was within our grasp.

It’s so simple to see that our positions have reversed. Vivienne broke things off with me because she had the courage to try for something more, and in the process, she got hurt. Now suddenly, our old relationship—as comfortable, easy, and bland as it was—seems compelling because it’s familiar and safe. But now I’ve found Casey, and I know what real passion feels like, and I’m not willing to settle anymore. Safe is no longer enough.

“Just because this guy didn’t work out, don’t give up on finding someone, Vivienne.”

My solution didn’t please her. She frowned. “Why would I go out searching when the man I want is sitting right in front of me.”

I tilted my head, holding her gaze as I spoke the truth out loud to her for the first time. “Come on. You know we weren’t good together. Not in the long run.”

She reared back, her eyes widening in surprise.

“There were happy times,” she insisted.

“Of course there were. I care for you; I do, Viv, but ...”

My voice trailed off, and she nodded. I watched her swallow and look away, composing herself as best as possible. “It’s not enough, is it?”

“We were so perfectly perfect together, but no, that’s not enough.”

---