Page 105 of Lucky In Love

“That sounds good, but who wants to start over in their thirties? I don’t.”

“Well damn, sorry for not getting my shit together in my twenties.”

“No Shontae, I didn’t mean it in that way, and you know it.”

“But, do I though? You’ve been dropping little shade trees for a hot minute.”

“No I haven’t, don’t do that. If you feel some type of way about anything I’ve said about life; career; finances or a non-existence love life, that’s your problem. Those are your insecurities about yourself. We’re friends, but we are not the same. Everything doesn’t work for everyone. I speak for only me and my issues.”

“Well shit, tell me how you really feel.”

“You know I will.”

“I know,” Shontae says, laughing and nodding. We have an unbreakable bond of a friendship. We don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but we listen and communicate with each other. Shontae thinks the world is filled with pleasantries that we must earn to be happy. She thinks some people have it easier than others, and I’m one of them. I’m Irish and Black. She thinks I have the best of both worlds. I don’t. In my family, yes, I do. Both my dad, and mom’s side of the family loves me unconditionally. They show no favoritism. They love my mom as one of their own. So with family, I live a great life. We love one another no matter what. No one prepares you culturally growing up as a bi-racial child. As an adult, I still experience micro-aggressions. A customer once told me that I should identify as a non-black woman. No one would believe that one of my parents was a person of color, and that it would benefit me more. I laugh at it now because I have to work harder because I’m bi-racial. It’s not easy because I’m a shade lighter than my darker skinned friends. People are the worst some times, but I grin and bear it. Why? Because those people don’t know me, and no one is going to make me hate me, ever again. I didn’t like myself as a kid, and I know no one who didn’t have identity issues growing up. Then I find a friend who throws up the middle finger to the world, screaming I love me for everybody, sorry that ya don’t. Shontae is that friend who levels my spirits and my vibrational energy. She claims that she’s my lucky charm and I hers. I have other thoughts, while my very Irish father believes in the luck of the Irish. My very black mother does not. That’s the only disagreement I’ve ever witnessed my parents having. It’s all in fun, but the banter between the two is ongoing and hilarious. Even though my dad is serious, he never takes what my mom says about his shamrock searching; luck of the Irish believing; horseshoe collecting comments at face value. They’re never disrespectful towards one another. Their love is a testament of what I would want to experience with someone. As an interracial couple, let alone an interracial married couple, their love and family support were the only thing they had back then. Society hadn’t been introduced to interracial dating. My parents experienced cruelty from both races. Society thought that love was limited. My mom says that she was literally color blind to the fact that my dad was a white Irish man. Her love for my dad has no color. I get emotional thinking of their love. Their story is one of the books. They literally fought to be together. Hopefully, with any luck, I will experience that kind of love one day.

“So tell me what’s going on with the outage case? Are we going to the site?” Sontae’s concern is sincere.

“I’m not sure yet. One of us needs to stay here, and the other will go to the site.”

“Did Mr. Holt advise which team?”

There’s a look of bewilderment in my expression as I look at Shontae, as if she didn’t understand what was just said. “Girl, what I say, you’ll know when I know.”

“Dang, who stuck their finger in your tea this afternoon?” She cautiously asks.

“No one, I’m irritated by your question. It was irrelevant.”

“Uh, excuse me, what made it irrelevant?”

“Well, not irrelevant, more.” I pause to find the right word. “Purposeless.”

“It served a purpose. I wanted to know if Mr. Holt had weighed I yet. We can have a plan in place; he will come in and change them with no warning, like always.”

Shontae has a point, but Mr. Holt isn’t calling the shots on this one. Mr. Furey is.

“Mr. Holt left Julian in charge of this case restore. I will be following Julian’s lead on this.”

“What?”

“Yes. That’s what I said. My grand finale.”

“Enya, you’re not going anywhere. Just stop it.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere, but Mr. Holt hired Julian to replace me. It’s already done, and I’ve accepted it. You should too.”

“I don’t have to accept anything because it’s not happening.”

“Okay, when I receive the email that says, ‘Can I see you in my office?’”

“Listen, I will go in there with you.”

“Girl, that’s sweet, but you can’t leave when they fire me.”

Shontae scoffs, “Girl, I said I will go in there with you; not go there with you. I need my job. Remember, I’m irresponsible.” She’s dead ass serious with her statement. I laugh a little, throwing a pen at her. “I’ll see you in the morning, lady. You can tell me the game plan, then.”

I shrug, “if they tell me.”

Shontae shakes her head at my statement and walks out. She reverses her steps. “I think you forget that you were the lead on that programming and install.” Shontae nods her head as she disappears through my doorway. Sometimes, I need a reality check.

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