It was a lovely day, the sun beginning to warm the gardens, but there was still plenty of cool shade, especially around the little lakes.
“It’s not enough,” I said, trying to walk faster than him, but I couldn’t with my short legs and his much longer ones. “I’m tired of looking the other way, pretending like it doesn’t hurt when you fuck other women.”
“I’ll stop!” he growled, as I turned to cut through the rows of neatly trimmed hedges to get to the blackberries.
I laughed. “Don’t bother making any wild promises on my account. I won’t believe any of them.”
Since I was done looking like how a Queen was supposed to, and behaving how a Queen was supposed to, I was just wearing my curly hair down and a faded yellow sundress I’d bought several years ago. I had smaller breasts so I wasn’t wearing a bra, and I felt comfortable and relaxed for the first time in a while.
“Now you’re free to sleep with whoever you want,” I added, pulling my skirt out so I could drop the plump deep purple berries onto it. “And so am I.”
“No!” Alexander cried.
But I kept serenely picking berries, refusing even to look at him.
“I don’t want to, sleep with anyone else,” Alexander said, his voice a low, pained keen.
“After seeing you balls-deep in Julia, I can confidently say I don’t believe you.”
I popped one of the berries in my mouth, and it exploded on my tongue, the juice running down my chin.
His eyes looked hungry, and he licked his lips quickly.
“I didn’t know doing that meant you’d want to leave me!” he exclaimed. “I never dreamed you’d want to divorce me!”
“You didn’t know that repeatedly cheating on me would make me want to leave you?” I shot at him.
“I-I didn’t,” he stumbled over his words, and maybe it meant I wasn’t a nice person, but I just watched as my perfect, confident husband struggled to find the right words.
“And I’m not divorcing you,” I reminded him. “In Norjava that requires you to agree. I’m getting our marriage annulled, which means you have no say in the matter.”
“Come on, Delilah,” he said in a strangled voice, and he ran his hands up and down his pants and then through his golden blonde hair. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was nervous. “Give me another chance. I’ll show you I can change.”
I laughed bitterly. “I gave you plenty of chances,” I reminded him. “You cheated on me the entire time we were married.”
“I didn’t know it would mean losing you,” he insisted, and was it my imagination or was there a different note in his voice?
God, fuck him.
“I’m tired of going around in circles,” I said. “You don’t have to choose now. You can have as many mistresses as you want. Go knock yourself out.”
“I choose you!” he said. “I would always choose you! I swear to you, Delilah, I will never even look at another woman again.”
I scoffed and turned to go.
“I’ll just have to find a way to show you!” he said, a muscle throbbing in his jaw. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
“You can do what you like. I don’t care,” I retorted. “You’re just used to getting your way while you get waited on hand and foot. And dick.”
Oh, St. Constance fucking save me. Was he really going to make the month a huge pain in the ass? But my husband the playboy couldn’t possibly keep up this contrition for the entire month. Soon he’d accept it and leave me alone.
“You’re ruining blackberry picking,” I said.
“C’mon, sweetheart,” he urged. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry. Say you’ll forgive me.”
I shrugged. “Fuck no! I don’t believe you and it doesn’t matter. We’re over, Alexander.”
CHAPTER 8