Page 43 of Captiva Book Club

Maggie smiled. “I understand. Paolo and I have the same reaction to the garden. It’s why he runs a garden nursery. He loves working this garden, but it’s Sanibellia that is his baby.”

He nodded. “I think he and I might be kindred spirits.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” she said.

“Maggie, I…the other day, I heard about what you’re going through, and I wanted to offer whatever help I can.”

Maggie’s brow furrowed slightly as she processed his words. She could see that he struggled to properly express his concern for her, but there was no mistaking what he was told.

“Am I out of line for talking to you about this?” he asked.

Maggie looked up at the wind chimes and smiled.

“No, you’re not out of line, and I appreciate you offering your support. Cancer is a difficult illness to fight. It’s like a chess game where your opponent knows your every move before you do. It takes just the right combination of things to outsmart it. Doctors keep trying new things, and sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn’t and you lose the game.”

He continued to focus on her face as she hadn’t made eye contact with him since he brought up the subject of her illness.

“It’s so random and not fair.”

She shook her head and softly answered, “No. It’s not.”

She looked at him and smiled. “What happened to you wasn’t fair either.”

Oliver had always known he would tell Maggie what happened that day. He didn’t know when, but now, sitting with her, he felt sharing his story was all he had to offer her.

“We…we were on our way home from a family party. It was a birthday party for our niece, Madeline. I’d been so busy with work, I didn’t think I could make it…but, our family, we needed a day to be together…the four of us.”

He stopped and took a deep breath, and then continued.

“We knew the weather wasn’t great, but the party wasn’t called off, so we decided to go. We all had fun at the party, but on the way home, Colin wanted to get a slice or two of pizza. Even after all he ate at the party, he was still hungry. He wanted to go to his favorite pizza place. My wife said no, but I said there wasn’t any harm in having a little pizza. The boys loved pizza, especially Caleb. We got to the pizza restaurant and went inside. We were drenched from the rain, but thought it was funny. I remember we laughed so hard…there was so much laughter…”

Oliver hesitated before continuing, his eyes filling with tears.

“When we were done, we ran back to the car and started for home, but the car stalled. I kept trying to get it to start, but it wouldn’t. We didn’t live that far from the place, so we kept talking about whether we should run home or wait it out, but we had no idea how long the rain would continue. We should have waited…”

He looked at Maggie. “My wife said it was up to me…it was my decision…I’m the one…I…”

Maggie put her hand on his arm. “It wasn’t your fault, Oliver.”

He nodded, but needed to keep talking, because if he stopped, he felt he’d fall into a ball on the floor and never get up.

“We got out of the car and ran…we ran so fast. I had Colin’s hand and my wife had Caleb. The water came…it knocked me off my feet and pulled me under. I tried so hard to hold onto Colin…but his hand…his little hand let go. The water took us all, and it was so fast…so fast.”

Oliver wiped his wet face with his hand.

“Somewhere further down the road I saw Caleb holding onto a tree. I tried to get to him, but the current was so strong, I reached for him…but just when I thought I had him, the water took me away again.”

Oliver tried to catch his breath before speaking again. When he did, he looked out at the garden.

“They found the boys the next day, and my wife, the day after.”

By now, Maggie was crying too. She couldn’t imagine living with the pain of such a loss. She wiped her eyes and moved closer to Oliver.

“I’m so sorry, Oliver. I wish I could take away your pain, but the truth is it will never leave you, nor should it. It will get easier in time, but this devastating loss will be with you your whole life. However, there is a way…a way forward…your family would want you to be happy. I know it feels like an impossible task, but you will be happy again. I promise you.”

He looked at her and couldn’t imagine what she was saying to be true. How could he ever be happy again, especially living with this guilt?

“Here’s what I know. I know that as alone as each of us feels in moments like this, we’re not. We’re part of something much greater than ourselves. You are now part of our family and we are part of yours. All of us are connected to a larger family where we can find hope, love, friendship, compassion, peace, and so much more. Your wife and children were and still are part of this larger family. And, as long as we talk about them, celebrate them and find comfort in the love you all shared while they were alive, they will never completely die.”

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