Page 41 of Dark As Coal

Two words, whispered into the breeze, “I can’t.”

The breath of air I hadn’t realized I was holding was expelled out of my lungs at her words.

I nodded, “Then I’ll wait. Till you’re ready. But you best believe, Soulshine, I’m going to get what I want.”

Again, with the silence, but I didn’t push her, and I was grateful I didn’t, not when she hesitantly asked, “And if you don’t?”

I bit back a chuckle, “Then thankfully, I’ve got my bedroll. Slept there ever since you took your things out of the clubhouse. I’ll keep doing it until you let me explain.”

With that, she climbed off the bike without a word. But I didn’t move.

I watched as she took her helmet off, and handed it to me, carefully, I took it in and still, I didn’t move.

Watching her as she walked up the steps, pulled her key out, unlocked her door, stepped in, and closed it, only then did I move.

And that was to drop my head, sigh, and then whisper, “You’re a god damned fool.”

As I waited for her, the moment I saw her bedroom light go on, and then moments later it shut off, I knew she was in for the night, and she wouldn’t be hearing me today.

Only then did I climb off my bike, tag my bedroll, and then got as comfortable on her porch as I could.

The next morning, I moved, lifted, twisted, and sighed when my back popped in three places.

The morning sun warmed my face.

Twisting my head over my shoulder, to see the door was still fucking closed, I got up, then walked to one of her rocking chairs, and took a seat.

Just as my ass landed on the rocker, I heard the lock on her front door, and then, she appeared.

Looking fucking gorgeous, and I knew she had just woken up.

The sleep from her eyes had yet to clear.

She took everything in.

The bedroll on her porch, my kutte I had rolled up as a makeshift pillow.

And when her eyes came back to me, I knew, and I wanted to shout it to the rooftops that she was giving me a chance. I knew it when she asked, “Want coffee?”

Ten minutes later I was sitting beside her on her couch, she was wearing my hoodie, a pair of short shorts, and those knee-high socks she loves so much when I started, “There’s a reason I will never do ass play. And I thank you for never bringing it up.”

I looked at her when I saw she was opening her mouth to speak, I shook my head once.

She got it. I knew it when she closed her mouth and then nodded for me to continue.

I turned my head back forward, focusing on a singular white brick that helped make up her fireplace.

“The first time it happened, I was six. The man placed his hand on the back of my neck and moved my body into position like I was a goddamned dog.” I couldn’t look at her as I got this out.

Because if I did, I would go on a murdering rampage.

I would kill anyone that got in my way.

“The next ten times it happened, I had yet to turn ten,” I whispered.

I could feel her body shaking beside mine. I knew she caught on to what I was really saying.

I didn’t need to explain it to her.

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