Page 70 of Pulled Away

“And you’re any better? Using him for his money? At least Ryan and I are equal partners in that sense.”

The discrepancy between our earnings is a sore point for me, but there’s no way I’m about to show her that.

“So, what are your plans? Are you going to stay in town where nobody wants you, crawling like the snake you are to get Ryan, or are you going to try to salvage some of your pride and leave? I mean, if I was humiliated like you were, option two would be a no-brainer.”

“That’s none of your business.”

She’s trying to appear confident, but it’s because she’s trying to salvage her pride.

“Have at it,” I mock. “We’re no longer together.” Which hurts like hell, but once again, there’s no way I’m showing her that.

Taking a step back, I turn and scan the store.

“What are you doing?” She frowns, looking around the store.

“Looking for chickens. I’m sure they’ll be running to you any second now. You know, coming home to roost,” I whisper the last, my eyes wide.

“I can’t believe Ryan would date someone so childish.”

Fuck, I’m enjoying the hell out of being childish.

Chuckling, I grab my trolley and head towards checkout. “I would say see you around, Hadley, but I hope I don’t. Ulcer medication is real expensive.”

Carter’s car is in the drive when I get home. I have a smile on my lips while I’m juggling my bags. Damn, that conversation with Hadley felt good. I don’t notice Ryan at first, but I sure as hell do when he jumps up from the couch and rushes to me.

“Hey,” he breathes, his hand touching mine as he relieves me from a few bags.

Despite desperately not wanting it to, my pulse quickens, my heart leaping in my chest. How freaking long before his nearness stops affecting me like this? Looking down, I clench my teeth, my smile a thing of the past. It’s hard to maintain my composure, to suppress the urge to run. To run somewhere far away where I never have to see him again. To a place where he can never hurt me like this again.

“Thank you,” I mutter, heading to the kitchen and putting the bags down.

“What’s on the menu tonight?” Carter peeks into a bag, rubbing his hands together. I was prepared to give him the stink eye, but my heart softens when I see his look of excitement. It blows my mind that someone who wants for nothing can get so excited about something as small as a home-cooked meal. Besides, I have no right to give him crap for having his friend over at his house.

I really need my own place.

“You’ll have to wait and see.”

“Cruel woman.”

His phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket, cursing when he sees who’s calling.

“Shit, I forgot to call them back,” he mutters. “Sorry, I have to take this.” He shoots me an apologetic look, and then he’s striding out of the kitchen.

I watch him leave, panic slithering up and wanting to choke me. He can’t leave me alone with Ryan. I’m nowhere near ready for that. I feel like Rose in the Titanic wanting to call, “Come back, come back.”

And yes, a few nights ago I was alone at home, and feeling like a martyr, I decided to re-watch Titanic. My eyes were still puffy from all the crying I’d done when I woke up the next morning. When I got to work, Piper glanced at my face, then reached into her bag of wonders, pulled out a chocolate bar, and thrust it against my chest with a muttered, “You need an endorphin release.”

“I miss your cooking,” Ryan mutters. “No. I miss us cooking together.”

“Ryan, please.” Sighing, I focus on unpacking the groceries. I can be a grown-up. It’s not like I haven’t been in uncomfortable situations before.

“Sorry,” he mutters again.

I jump when he slams a cupboard door closed, unable to stop myself from turning to him.

“No, I take that back. I’m not sorry and I refuse to apologize for telling the truth. I will not apologize for telling you I miss you. That I can’t sleep because you’re not sleeping next to me. That seeing your favorite chair and knowing you’ll never sit in it again leaves me unable to breathe. I won’t apologize for any of that. What I will apologize for is that I didn’t see Hadley for who she is. Not until it was too late.”

His chest is heaving, and the look of pain etched into the creases of his face almost brings me to my knees.

---