Page 64 of Pulled Away

“I’m not sick,” I lie. Because I am sick. I’m heartsick.

“I thought I heard your voice,” Dad says, walking into the kitchen.

“Ryan’s sick.”

“I’m not sick,” I say again.

“Look at the circles under his eyes. I don’t know why I didn’t see it when you walked in. Are you not getting enough sleep?” Rolling my eyes, I pull my head away from her hands because, damn, I’m a grown man and I’ll deny enjoying Mom’s fussing until my dying day.

I squirm when Dad’s eyes catch mine, and his face falls into a frown. He’s way too perceptive. His years as a lawyer had taught him to pick up on subtle cues, such as body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Which made life for me and Rose…interesting growing up. There wasn’t much we could get away with, so we had to get creative at times.

“I think we need to have a discussion in the drawing room.”

My heart sinks. That’s Dad speak for shit’s about to get real. I don’t know why my parents call it a “drawing room,” but that’s where all our serious conversations happened. Where they imparted all major life advice and where our punishments were handed out. I know I need to have this conversation with them because I don’t know what to do, and I’m at the point where I want someone to tell me what I can do to make things right. And who better than my parents, who have been happily married for longer than I’ve been alive? It doesn’t make admitting things easier, though.

“What’s going on, Ryan?” Mom asks once we’re seated.

Dad doesn’t say anything, silently peering at me over his glasses. He knows I’ll speak when I’m ready.

Toying with the tassel on the armrest cover, I finally just blurt it out.

“Aspen broke up with me.”

“What? Why?” Mom says, sitting up and going into protective mode.

“Because I deserved it.” I try my best, but I can’t stop the wobble in my voice. Blinking rapidly, I stare blankly at the wall while I describe everything to them in detail, laying all my sins bare. Everything but the one huge thing I know will hurt them.

When I’m done, and I finally dare to meet their eyes, Mom’s staring at me, her mouth slightly ajar. It takes her a few moments to collect herself.

“I knew you were going on holiday and I just assumed Aspen was going with you.”

I shake my head because there’s nothing I can say.

“I don’t know what to say, except for what were you thinking? Why would you do that?”

“Obviously I wasn’t thinking,” I mutter, looking down in shame. “There’s more,” I say, taking a deep breath. “When we were in college, Hadley and I got married.”

I close my eyes, hunching my shoulders, and Mom doesn’t disappoint.

“You are married?” she cries, and I shudder at the faint note of hysteria in her voice. Yep, this is going as well as I thought it would.

“Not anymore. We divorced.”

“You divorced?”

I nod, wincing at the piercing tone in her voice. “It didn’t take me long to realize it was a mistake, but by then it was too late and I felt stuck.”

“Charles, he’s your son. Talk to him. I just…can’t.”

“I messed up. I get it, okay? What’s worse is that I never told Aspen about it. Hadley was the one who told her. I thought it was in the past and that it didn’t matter, but I see now that it was wrong of me. I need advice on how I can dig myself out of this mess.”

“That poor girl,” Mom chokes out around a sob. “I can’t believe you’d go and get married and hide it from me. Charles, don’t just sit there. Talk to him.”

“It was right after her mom died, and I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t approve.”

“You’re damn right we wouldn’t have approved. Tell him, Charles.”

Dad shoots her an exasperated look before he takes his glasses off, folding them up and placing them on the coffee table. He rubs his face, blowing out a deep breath.

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