Page 62 of Pulled Away

It took a lot to convince Carter to let me know when she’s working a shift. He argued that it would be betraying her, but finally relented when I managed to convince him I was only doing it out of concern for her safety, and that she’d never know I was there.

And I kept true to my word, waiting for her to finish her shift and then following her home at a safe distance. How she hasn’t noticed is beyond me, and I’m torn between telling Carter that he needs to have a talk with her about being more observant when driving and keeping quiet. I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot. I don’t want her to find out I’m doing this. Ever. She’ll most probably rip my balls off if she does.

I’m so damn tired and covered in paint, but the image of Aspen scurrying to her car while clutching her coat tight around her has me pulling back my shoulders. These late nights are messing with me, and I don’t know how she keeps going. At least I can sleep in, but she doesn’t have that luxury. She has to get up early to go to her job at the clinic.

Yesterday I came across some paint swatches that she left behind, bringing to mind a conversation we had. She agonized over which color to paint the reception area. It had to be warm and inviting, putting people at ease. The heart of the rescue. It took a week for her to decide on a color. That’s how important it was to her.

So when the paint shop opened, I was there, buying the color she had her heart set on. Lucky for me, I found the door to the reception area unlocked. Most probably because the room is just an empty shell with nothing to steal. I’ll have to talk to Carter, though. Vandalism is a thing. To say it doesn’t hurt to use Carter as a middleman is an understatement.

My heart ached when I took a walk around the place before I started painting, taking in everything she’s done so far.

I’m so damn proud of what she’s achieved with her limited budget. I know she says we’re not together anymore, but in my heart we still are, and I’ll do anything I can to make her life easier.

After my shower, I pad to the kitchen, toweling my hair, my stomach growling with hunger. I raced out this morning without breakfast, and I got so tangled up in painting that I didn’t stop for a break.

My heart drops to my stomach when I see someone standing in the kitchen, and for one sweet, sweet second, I think it’s Aspen, and everything rights in my world. But then I take in the red hair, and my fury rises, eclipsing the shine of her hair.

“What are you doing here? In my house,” I grind out, clenching the towel in my hands.

Hadley takes her time answering, her eyes taking in my sweatpants, hanging low on my hips, and gliding up my naked torso before meeting my eyes.

She doesn’t bother hiding the longing on her face, and…I’m repulsed. For the first time in my life, Hadley repulses me. How did I not see the way she looked at me before?

Because you weren’t looking, you idiot. You trusted her. Blindly. Or she was just that good at hiding it. Squashing the urge to put on a shirt, I glare at her instead.

“I said, what are you doing here?”

“I had to come back for the reading of the Will. Do you know he didn’t leave me anything? Just a crappy figurine of a woman holding a duck, and a worthless coin collection,” she says, her bottom lip quivering. “He left everything—”

“I’m not interested,” I cut her off. I’m sure it hurts. Her parents were loaded. But I don’t give a flying fuck. Not anymore. “And it doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. In my house. I thought I made myself quite clear before I left.”

“I want to apologize,” she whispers, dropping her eyes to the ground.

“Still not interested.”

I can’t forgive her, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. She played me. She played Aspen, and she took everything I’ve ever done and felt for her and used it to hurt the most precious person in my life. And I allowed her to, too blinded by my loyalty. Stupid. And for that, I’ll never forgive myself either.

“Please, Ryan,” she pleads. “I love you. I have always loved you. Can you truly blame me for what I did? Wars don’t get won by playing fair. You do whatever you have to, to win. And that’s what I did. I went to war for your heart. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Doesn’t that show you how much I love you?”

Temper finally snapping, I advance on her. “You betrayed me!” I roar, slamming my fist against my chest. “After everything I’ve done for you, you turn around and betray me. You don’t do that to a person you say you love.”

Breathing heavily, we engage in a stare-down.

“You know, I had a lot of time to think and reflect on the flight back. It’s funny how a person’s perception of a situation changes when you look at it through the lens of truth. Times I thought you were having my back weren’t like that at all. It was you manipulating me to get what you wanted. It’s always been me. Me sacrificing for you.”

“That’s not true.” If stubborn had a name, it would be Hadley.

“Yeah? And what have you ever done for me?”

I wait a few beats, but she keeps her lips pressed together.

“That’s what I thought. Remember when I invited Elena to that school dance? I had the hugest crush on her. Remember how excited I was when she said yes? Well, half an hour before the dance you called me, distraught about something or the other, I can’t even remember what, and what did poor schmuck Ryan do?” I pound on my chest again, not waiting for her to answer. “Stood up Elena to be there for his friend and completely blowing any chance I might have had with her. I’ll bet every last dime I have that you made something up to stop me from going,” I hiss.

“Now you’re just being cruel,” she whispers. “She wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Because she wasn’t you, right?” I chuckle mirthlessly, running my hand through my hair. “That’s just one instance,” I mutter, cursing myself for being such a fool. “You never had my heart, Hadley, not like that.” I can’t keep my frustration and hurt from erupting again. “What you did have was my loyalty and my friendship, and now you don’t even have that.”

She’s shaking her head, denying my words, and all I want is to have her gone.

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