Page 43 of Pulled Away

Every image is a knife to the heart. It should have been us doing that. He is my boyfriend, after all. The man I thought I was going to marry. “Was,” a tiny voice whispers in my mind.

It’s only after time has gone by that I realize it’s not my mind working against me. It’s working with me, protecting me. Every image I see chips away at the sorrow I’m feeling and infuses me with anger.

On autopilot, I get up and take a shower. I scrub and scrub, trying to wash all traces of the day away. The room is silent as I pad to the bed and slide under the covers. I pull my knees up and fold my hands under my cheek. My only prayer for the night is that I can find oblivion in sleep, but in the quiet darkness, it’s their laughs of happiness that echo in my ears while the soundless song of agony rolls down my cheeks.

By the time the sun crests the horizon, I’m up and dressed. I’m determined to leave last night’s weakness in that daisy-infused bed. My hands are shaking and I can’t tell if it’s from all the caffeine I’ve consumed or the uncertainty of a new life that I have to forge for myself. I’m fortifying my armor bit by bit. Breastplate, gauntlets, greaves—it’s all there in the blend of concealer under my eyes, a swipe of mascara, a dash of gloss on my lips.

A muffled ping from somewhere in the room drags my eyes from my reflection in the bathroom mirror and I walk to the room, looking for my bag. I find it lying discarded next to the door. By the time I’ve pulled my phone out, it’s pinged twice more.

Piper: Where are you? I’ve tried calling and you’re not answering

Piper: Rose told me Ryan left. I’m at your house and you’re not here

Not my house. His. And if Hadley has her way, theirs. How long would it take her to move her things from the apartment into the house?

Piper: Call me. I’m worried

I bite my lip, hesitating on how to respond, then decide to just rip the band-aid off.

Aspen: Yeah, I moved out yesterday

A few seconds after I’ve pressed send, my phone rings.

“Hey, Piper.”

“You moved out?”

“Yes,” I whisper, biting back a sob.

“Fucking asshole,” she curses. “I was praying he’d pull his head out of his ass at the last moment.”

“You and me both.”

“Where are you?”

“Rest A Minute.” Seems like all I have in me this morning are one-sentence answers.

“You stayed at that dump? Why didn’t you come to my place?”

I don’t answer because my throat is tight and aching with how hard I’m trying not to cry.

“I was worried about you,” she says, her voice soft.

“Piper,” I manage to choke. “I’m sorry to have worried you. I just…” I sigh, running my hand through my hair.

“I get it. Please, come over. I don’t want you to be alone. I’ve got tequila,” she coaxes, bringing a smile to my face.

“Thanks, Piper. I’ll see you later,” I murmur softly, ending the call, grateful that even though my relationship has ended, I still have friends.

Taking a deep breath, I tap back into my messages and open Ryan’s contact.

Ryan: Hi babe. I tried to call. We’re in New York now, waiting for our connecting flight. We have a two-hour layover. Call me, please. I love you.

We. Our. How nice for the two of you.

Disgusted, I leave him on read and throw my phone back in my bag. I’ve just stepped back into the bathroom when there’s a knock on my door. Piper’s the only one who knows where I am, and it can’t be her. Unless she somehow broke the sound barrier getting here from my…Ryan’s house. Fuck. It’s going to take me a while to get used to that.

I open the door slowly, not really in the mood for anyone. Not just yet.

---