Page 72 of Pitiful Lies

He is slow and thorough, and he makes me come every single time. That’s not something I’ve had with any other man.

It’s like he is on a one man mission to prove himself, and I am happy to let him.

My entire body is always so attuned to his nearness, so primed for him.

All he has to do is to be here, and it’s like my fireworks go off inside every nerve ending.

This date is just the two of us. So, I can’t try to convince myself he’s doing this to get in good with Nico because I am Anna’s friend.

I’ve had that thought before and it’s not one of my proudest moments.

I’m always talking about self-image and how society has tried to brainwash bigger girls into thinking we need to be grateful for any attention that comes our way.

But I never believed in any of that bullshit. And I don’t believe Angel needs to suck up to his cousin for any reason. Their relationship seems solid enough without that.

So, why is it so hard for me to accept this big, sexy, powerful man wants me for me? Why is it unfathomable to believe Angel wants me for me?

Maybe it’s time for me to shed all that negativity and just go for it.

Dive in, Sisi. The water is fine.

If Angel is the metaphorical water, then he is more than fine. He’s fucking perfect. And it’s time for me to admit I want him, too. That what I feel for him isn’t run of the mill.

I am so sick of playing games.

Angel has given me no reason to doubt his interest in me, and I don’t want to pretend I haven’t noticed. That I don’t want him, too.

Because I do want him.

I want him so badly.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO-ANGEL

Iknow I got shit to handle. Issues to deal with. Problems at work that need solving. Like finding the motherfucker who keeps attacking us.

But not today.

Today, I surprise Giselle with this trip to the New York Renaissance Faire.

It’s a weekday, so it’s not as crowded as I imagine the weekends are. But after the past few weeks of really getting to know her, I think I have an idea of what kind of things Giselle is into.

This is her first time here, and I feel stupid proud to be the one to take her. I don’t know why. But it’s something I’m learning to accept.

The emotions this woman conjures from the depths of my dark soul are things I never felt with anyone else.

Like obsession, devotion, happiness.

Fuck.

I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to be with her all the time. Want to see her smile. I swear, sometimes her smile makes my heart stop.

This isn’t like me. Taking time off to play hooky isn’t something I normally do. My position as Enforcer is demanding. I’ve got to be conscientious, aware, and on all the time.

I’m responsible for the well-being of a lot of people who are important to me. And it’s difficult to turn that off.

But when I am with her, it’s effortless. Something about her just attracts joy, puts me in a good mood. That’s new.

Hell, that’s rare.

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