Page 94 of Devious Lies

I try to keep the viper inside me tightly coiled. It's the only way he doesn't take over.

But lately, he’s been slithering to the surface.

The beast in me knows when someone threatens what's mine.

And someone has been threatening my Maria.

If I let him out, if I unleash the beast and all his vengeance, I will become a thing of pure fucking rage.

If she sees it, will she shy away?

I don't want to scare her, but I need to protect her. To cherish her.

Life isn’t black and white. It’s gray.

I’m not talking fifty shades. I’m talking motherfucking thousands.

It's a tricky thing trying to say what is good and what is bad.

You can't label everything. No matter how hard you try.

I’m bad. But what I feel for Maria? That’s good.

There is no black and white.

Only gray. Hundreds of thousands of different shades of gray.

How dark you go all depends on the circumstances. Mine are pretty extenuating.

All the shit I've done.

All the tragedy I’ve seen.

My father leaving.

My sister overdosing in a dirty alley.

My mother slipping into alcoholism.

Her dealer skipping bail.

City politicians not giving a fuck.

Criminals running parks and schools.

After all the years of fighting and clawing my way up through all the shit and shitty people, now I am one of the ones in power.

The Vipers are more than a criminal syndicate. We are a family.

And family is power.

That’s something Nico identified back when we were kids, after my sister and his mother died from dirty drugs.

He knew we were better together. Stronger, too.

We slithered and crawled our way to the top. With Angel training us, backing us up, there was no stopping us then.

Just like there is no stopping us now.

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