Page 13 of Merciful Lies

Matters of the heart are alien to me, but business deals I could handle. That’s all this is, I remind myself.

But I also remind myself I’m a fucking liar.

My body is ready for her again and isn’t that fucking new? I thought maybe sex had simply lost its spark for me.

But not with her. She is different. And it feels like maybe I could be different with her. Or pretend to be, at the very least.

Just for tonight.

This woman is throwing my wavering libido a lifeline, and I am a selfish prick through and through, so I’ll take it.

I’ll take everything she offers.

I press my nose to her hair and breathe her scent. She smells fresh and clean, like maybe she showered before she came here.

Her shampoo is floral, but not overbearing, and I like it. I breathe her in again, this time with my mouth open, savoring her essence on my tongue.

I thought one night of fucking would be enough to work out my need for this woman.

But I’m thinking I’m wrong.

So, instead of kicking her out like planned, I wrap her in my arms and tuck her close to my body, fighting to stay awake.

I found a sense of peace in Anna’s warmth I never expected. And I’m not ready to say goodbye just yet.

Lulled into the first deep sleep I had in years, I wake up hours later. Alone.

“Fuck,” I growl and heft myself out of bed, going right for the security feed on my laptop.

I don’t bother with clothes. No one is in my office. Not without my permission. No one would dare.

I watch the feed showing Anna as she dressed and left just a few hours ago. She paused by my bed, kissing my head before she takes off and I press my hand over my heart.

That long dead thing starts to pound.

She kissed me. Why?

“I wasn’t ready for you to leave,” I say to myself.

Unfortunately, she took the decision out of my hands when she disappeared.

Business matters take my attention for the rest of the day, but I can’t stop thinking about my little Rosebud.

One night didn’t quench my desire for her. But she’s gone. And I’m not sure if I should hunt her down. Honestly, it would be a mercy to let her go.

But I don’t know if I have it in me to be merciful anymore.

CHAPTER SIX-ANNA

Six months later

I enter my apartment with a sigh as I walk to turn on the AC. It’s a cheap window unit, and I don’t even know if it still works.

But I hope it does. New Jersey summers are a mixed bag, but it looks like I came back to a freaking heat wave.

I miss Pancake, but I know the family who adopted him from me are good people. They’re treating him well, and they even send me updates every now and then.

It makes me sad, but I know it’s for the best. My allergies have been a little loopy just lately.

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