Page 46 of Merciful Lies

Does she think she tricked me into marrying her or something?

Fuck me.

That’s exactly what she thinks. I can see it on her face.

“Anna,” I say, helping her stand and turning her around to face me.

I grip the base of her neck with one hand and hold her cheek with the other hand.

“You are all I ever wanted,” I admit.

“W-what are you talking about? I only met you because of Sammy’s debt to you,” she whispers her brother’s name.

“That’s true, but not how you think. You see,” I say, daring to tell her something.

Something real.

“I only allowed Sammy to ring up a bill so I could have you.”

“What?”

“I’m a powerful man, Anna. I run a tight organization,” I say, even though I’m still feeling raw about that fucking sleazy security guard who watched my wife swim in the nude.

“I don’t lend money without doing research. Sam had nothing to offer as collateral. But I saw a picture of you, and I wanted you.”

“Y-you tricked me? My brother? You let him gamble just so you could fuck me?” she says, and fuck, I see devastation in her eyes.

“No. Well, yes. But not how you think. Not so I could fuck you once and let you go. If you hadn’t run, I wouldn’t have been able to stay away.” I admit.

She doesn’t know the half of it. The way I stalked her. My invasion of her privacy. And I won’t tell her any of that.

“You wouldn’t have been able to stay away? What are you talking about? Why?” she asks, and I can see she is serious.

Fuck.

Doesn’t she know?

“What do you need me to say, Anna? That I want you. I do. That I’d do anything to keep you? That I’d fucking kill for you? Cause I will,” I say, and my chest is heaving.

“Nico—”

I can’t let her finish because I don’t know what she is going to say. And it scares me.

Me.

I’m the fucking boogeyman, and this little slip of a girl scares me half to death.

“I’m not good with words. I didn’t go to college. I’m no fucking Shakespeare, but I’ll treat you good. And I’ll protect you with my life.”

There it is. I spell it out for her. And now I’m frozen.

Half-frightened out of my mind that she’ll shove me away and tell me to get lost.

I won’t do it even if she does.

It’s not even a question.

But if she says that to me, if she rejects me, I’m not sure I won’t lose my fucking mind and I already killed one man today.

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