Page 71 of Lie for a Lie

“Is that an invitation?” he says as he stands, pulling me into his arms and swaying us slowly with the song.

We can hear more splashing and see Katherine and Seth playing like drunk idiots in the water. They are entirely unaware of anything but the moment they are in. Graham pulls me closer as if realizing the same thing and softly sings the words off-key. I absorbed every second of this feeling.

Every moment we spend together is starting to become a painful reminder of what I really want in a relationship. Still, something about this moment feels different from all the other times we dance, the late-night phone calls, and stolen glances.

I can feel it sitting in my chest—the feelings I keep trying to ignore as I glance towards his face, his ocean-blue eyes drowning me. Not caring who sees, Graham leans down to brush his lips to mine softly before I let my head rest on his chest.

Graham holds me so close, humming the last few notes of the song, and I can feel every bit of it in my soul.

He stills when the next song, “Dandelions,” begins, and he painfully hums as I feel him tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear and place another slightly firmer kiss on my head. Then I swear I can hear him singing again.

I lift my head, and as our eyes meet, it’s all there. The truth of the words pouring out of him right now. I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the response my body has to it. My heart is being ripped out of my chest, and tears begin to roll down my cheeks. He knows every damn word to the song, and I think he knows the words because of me.

I feel a full-blown panic attack begin as he looks at me with more emotion than any man in my life. I have to pull away when he leans in and tries to kiss me again.

“I’m sorry, Paige.”

He apologized immediately, not taking his eyes off me. I can’t hold back the words.

“What are we doing here, Graham? We are both with other people. I don’t think this should happen.”

I gesture between us, and my heart completely shatters and I have never regretted anything more than those words in my whole life. He can see it. I know he can.

“Why?”

The pain in his trembling voice is something I caused, and it’s almost unbearable.

“I want you, Paige. So, fucking bad. You can’t tell me this means nothing, please.”

He took a small step towards me, and I stand my ground.

“You’re engaged! Graham. Neither one of you acts like it, but you are,” I snap as the song ends, and silence fills the void now growing between us.

He flinches, and I see his nostrils flare. The speaker roars to life again as Savage Garden’s “Truly, madly, deeply” plays next in the shuffle. Neither of us move, and I don’t think he is going to respond.

Fucking Perfect.

I don’t even bother hiding the tears, wiping my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. I look back at Graham, his eyes like a roaring ocean of emotion. It makes me feel like the world is crumbling around me, and I just can’t take it.

“Fuck this,” I say, walking over to the tent.

“Paige,” Graham finally says.

“Don’t turn around,” I mutter to myself as I hear him curse and reach for the whiskey bottle.

When I get inside the tent, I see an inflatable mattress set up for each couple. I noticed my bag to the right. Lying down and putting the pillow over my head, I cry.

At some point later, Seth and Katherine come into the tent. Seth is so drunk he doesn’t even notice I am upset. He pulls me into his chest and falls asleep within minutes while I lay there staring at Katherine’s back until Graham finally comes into the tent sometime later.

I don’t bother lifting my head from Seth’s chest as I watch Graham’s every move. He removes his shirt and turns to face me, not at all seeming surprised when our eyes meet.

He keeps my stare as he removes his shorts, and I can’t help but dip my eyes down to peek. I see a smile when I return my eyes to him as he slides his boxer briefs and sleeping pants on. Once Graham lays down, he faces me, still lying on Seth’s chest. Graham never looks away from me, letting all the unspoken words from earlier linger.

I know he is sorry and will give me space, but tonight, we will lay here and just lose ourselves in thinking about what it might have been like.

What would have happened if I hadn’t pulled away?

I let my mind wander until I begin to dream that I slept on Graham’s chest. His fingers are the ones gripping my waist. What if it was Graham earlier today fucking me against that rock wall? What it would feel like for his cock to sink into my starving pussy repeatedly.

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