Page 7 of No Going Back

Dex took a drink before speaking again. “I want to ask you something. Don’t take it the wrong way, and you don’t have to answer me.”

Tyler raised his eyebrows. “Go on.”

“Have you ever spoken to Claire about your past?”

“I don’t need a shrink, Dex.” Tyler snapped. His defensive walls went up firmly, and his temper rose.

“I didn’t say you needed one. I just think it might be good, that’s all. From where I’m sitting, you like Mira a lot. I haven’t seen you even glance at a woman for weeks. Casual’s all good, but you’re kidding yourself that you won’t want more one day. Maybe not with Mira, but with someone.”

Tyler stayed quiet, keeping a lid on his temper. Dex knew some of his history, but not all of it.

Dex stood up, throwing his can in the trash. “Go enjoy your time off, but if you ever need to chat, you know where to find me.”

Tyler forced himself to respond calmly. “Thanks.”

They walked out together, finding Sam the only one still in the debrief room.

“Kelly said she’d see you at home.” Sam said to Dex.

“That’s where I’m headed. See you guys later.” Tyler called over his shoulder as he walked toward the door. He decided against going to see Mira, choosing to go straight home. The conversation with Dex had rattled him. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but it had stirred up emotions he’d buried years ago.

Getting in his jeep, he gunned it out of the parking lot, cursing. He hadn’t spoken about his childhood in years. It was done. Dealt with. Buried. Just like his mother. So why the fuck did Dex’s words sit so heavy in his chest?

It took just fifteen minutes to get to his complex. Parking, he took the stairs two at a time, to his apartment on the fourth floor. No sooner through the door, then he stripped off his clothes as he walked to the bathroom and stepped under the shower. Just thinking of his mother, his childhood, always made him feel dirty.

Bracing his arms against the tiled wall, he let the water run down his back. Jesus, was it really that obvious about him and Mira? Damn, the fact the whole team sensed something made him uncomfortable. With Dex, Ryan, and Steve all being attached, he would usually shoot the shit about women with Donnie and Mackie. Since that kiss with Mira, though, he hadn’t engaged in the trash talk. Dex was right. He’d not been hanging with them much either. Happy to be home, chatting or texting with Mira. He would never mention what they were doing to the boys. She wasn’t some random woman he’d picked up. However, she wasn’t his girlfriend, either. No, she was one of the team and that did complicate things.

Shit, the whole situation had gotten far too complicated. Neither of them wanted a relationship, but continuing the way they were no longer seemed right.

Jesus, Tyler, what were you thinking, getting involved with her at all, knowing it would never go anywhere. She’s part of Onyx!

Turning off the water, he quickly dressed and grabbed the keys to his jeep before he could change his mind. Mira would still be at the Farm.

Windows down and music on, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this nervous about going to meet a woman. He hadn’t seen her in a week. They talked on the phone, FaceTime, and of course, text, but there’s nothing like the real thing. He couldn’t wait to see her.

But you're still going to end it, Tyler.

It was early evening by the time he arrived back at the Farm. Outside the intel office, he paused. What was he going to say? Shaking his head, he chided himself. Get a fucking grip. You’ve been letting women down all your life.

He opened the door and found Mira alone in the room.

“Ty! What are you doing here?” She smiled and Tyler relaxed a little.

“Hey. Thought I’d surprise you.” God, she was beautiful. She took his breath away and he had to force himself not to stare.

“Well, you have. I thought Sam sent you home.” They stood a few feet apart, an awkwardness between them. This was exactly what he didn’t want. Why he had to end it before they ruined their friendship.

“Let me take you to dinner.” A public place, where he wouldn’t be able to lay her down and show her exactly what his sexts were like for real. His cock stirred, very much wanting to re-enact every last one of them.

Mira cocked her head. “Dinner?”

“Yeah. You know, a restaurant where you order food,” he teased.

“Haha. OK, sure. Dinner would be nice. I just need to finish up a couple of things.”

“No problem, I can wait.”

“I won’t be long.”

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