Page 46 of No Going Back

“Too bad. You guys make a cute couple. How about I go grab us some espresso, keep us both alert?”

“Sounds great. Thanks.”

Just as Ray stepped out, her phone pinged. Expecting it to be Kelly or Sam, she picked it up. Kelly had been worried about her earlier, making it clear she thought something was up, but Mira didn’t want to talk about it. Kelly lived with Dex, Tyler’s team leader. It didn’t feel right. When she unlocked her phone, Tyler’s name came up. Her heart practically skipped a beat. She’d not heard from him since telling him to leave last night. Several times she had gone to text him but stopped, unsure exactly where they stood. And Raven would be leaving for the op today. Tyler needed to be focused on that for him and his team’s safety.

Clicking on his name, she read the message.

Tyler: Hey babe. I’m sorry. Again. I keep screwing up with you. Please forgive me.

He was back to calling her babe. She liked it. Too much. But she could feel the pain in his words and any anger toward him had long gone. She was upset. Upset for something she wanted but couldn’t have. Knowing he cared about her made that even harder.

Mira: Hey Ty, there is nothing I need to forgive you for. You apologized last night. We’re good.

The last thing she wanted was for Tyler to go on a mission worried about her being angry with him.

Tyler: You are very special to me.

Oh, Jesus, he was killing her.

Mira: You need to focus today as do I. Be careful.

Tyler: I know babe. I will. xx

Putting down the phone, Mira stared at the laptop screen. Time to take her own advice and seriously focus on the upcoming mission. And keep reminding herself she and Tyler were just friends.

***

“I FEEL BAD ASKING YOU to squeeze me in again.” Tyler was back on Claire’s couch.

“I told you it was OK to call. I always try to be available for you guys. Your job means you need to have a clear head and if I can help, then I want to.” She smiled warmly at him.

“Well, I really appreciate it. Thank you.” It was a risk coming here. Tyler knew if Claire thought he was in the wrong headspace, she could have him dropped from the team with one phone call to Sam. But he’d been drawn to coming back here. It was as if, now he’d opened up the box, he needed to dig deeper.

“You’re welcome.”

“I should warn you that we are due to be wheels up on the op at some point today, so I could get the call from Dex anytime.”

“Good to know. What brought you back here today, so soon? I wasn’t expecting to see you until after you got back.”

“I need help.” He hadn’t planned to say that, but it just came out and now that it had, he realized he really did need help. Not just need, but he actually wanted help. Something he had never admitted before.

Claire leaned back, her notebook on her lap. “Why now?”

“Because I hate feeling the way I do. I think maybe I do want to be able to settle down one day. I want to be normal. I see some of my teammates in relationships, and for the first time I’m thinking that maybe I want that.”

Last night had made that perfectly clear to him. He did want a relationship. He wanted to be able to give a woman love, commitment. He wanted to give Mira that.

“What does normal look like for you?”

“I guess being able to love and be loved. Believe it. Trust it.” Tyler looked away a little embarrassed. “Bet you’ve never had an operator say that to you before.”

“Tyler, you already are able to love and be loved.”

He looked back at her confused. Claire continued.

“You love your teammates, and they love you.”

“That’s different.”

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