Page 33 of No Going Back

“I don’t think it’s going to change my mind about relationships. But...”

Claire raised her eyebrows waiting.

“Dex did say something that hit a nerve with me.” It bothered him more than a little.

“What did he say?”

Tyler ran his hands up and down his thighs, nervously. “He said I was living in a victim mentality by not dealing with what happened to me. That I’m not facing up to it.”

Claire wrote in her notebook before looking up at him.

“Do you agree with him?”

“I’ve never looked at it that way. Like I said, it hit a nerve. He might be right. He has a habit of being right.” Tyler gave her a sheepish smile.

“Dex cares about his team both professionally and personally.” Claire smiled back.

“Yeah, I know. He’s the best, and I hate that I’ve pissed him off.”

“What part of what he said hit you the most?”

“Being a victim,” he replied honestly.

“Because you don’t see yourself as one?”

“I’m a special operator, so no, I’ve never thought of myself as a victim. I’m the one that rescues victims.”

“Is that why you became a Navy SEAL? Specifically, a medic? Medics more than anyone help victims.”

He shrugged. “When I enlisted, I was a very angry person. Pushing myself to extremes was how I used that anger. I wanted to push myself to my limits, be the best. BUDS does that. Being a medic, saving lives. I was drawn to that. I couldn’t help my mom or Allan. Things might have been different if I’d known what to do.”

“You were six when your mom was killed. And from what I understand, Allan’s injuries were too severe. You could not have saved him either.”

Tyler didn’t reply. Rationally, he knew what she said was right, but he blamed himself for their deaths. He seemed to bring pain wherever he went.

“You said before that if you got into a relationship with this woman, you would lose her. What makes you think that?”

“Every time I let myself care about anyone; I lost them. All of them.”

“Who is all of them?’

“I lost my mom. After that, the eight foster families I was put with. Each time, I thought this was it. These people have chosen me. Things were great at first, and I would think I finally had a family, but then every time, something went wrong, I got sent back. Allan. That man took me under his wing. I loved him.”

“That’s a lot for anyone to process, especially as a child. But what happened back then is past. You are an adult now, and you know that there are no guarantees in any romantic relationship. Yes, it might fail, but it also might be the most wonderful experience in the world.”

“It’s not worth the risk. I don’t want to get hurt again, and I sure as hell don’t want to see this woman hurt. Caring about people does nothing but bring pain.”

“But you care about your team, don’t you?”

Before he could respond, his phone vibrated. “Sorry, Claire, it could be Dex, I have to check it.”

“No problem. I understand.”

Dex: We’ve got an op, need you back here for the brief.

“I gotta go.” Tyler rose from the chair not sure whether he was relieved or not.

“Thank you for sharing today.” Claire stood as well.

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