Page 98 of No Going Back

“Yeah, we have. All the more reason to clear the air. We both said some shit we shouldn’t have today.”

They all looked up as Tyler came around the corner.

“Dawson, leave it. There’ll be plenty of time to sort it out,” Sam said quietly before Tyler reached them.

“The nurse just said Mira’s out of surgery,” Tyler said. “The surgeon will be along soon to give us an update. Thought you’d want to know.”

“That’s good news. She made it through surgery.” Dex tried to give his medic some encouragement.

“Yeah. I guess.” He didn’t sound convinced.

“Why don’t we rejoin the rest of the team,” Sam said, turning back toward the waiting room. The rest of them filed in behind him. Dex prayed it was good news. Tyler was already hanging on by a thread.

***

THE SURGEON BALKED at the number of people in the room. “Next of kin?”

“We all are,” Sam answered.

Dale showed the surgeon his ID. “You’re good to tell them. Mira’s family to everyone in this room.”

The surgeon didn’t look pleased, but apparently the FBI ID wielded power.

“The surgery went well.”

Tyler let out his breath, and heard a collective sigh from the rest of the room.

“We’ve managed to stabilize her for now and we’re moving her to intensive care, so we can monitor her vitals. We were able to repair the damaged lung, but it was extensive, so she’s in a medically induced coma to give the lung a chance to heal.”

“How long will that take?” Sam asked.

“It varies. I’ve done all I can do. The body has to heal itself. It could be a couple of days, a couple of weeks, or more. We’ll continue to monitor her, and once we feel the lung is healed enough, we’ll bring her out of the coma. After that, it’s all down to Mira.”

God, more waiting. Tyler folded his arms across his chest. “Can we see her?”

The surgeon nodded. “As soon as she’s settled in ICU. Her actual next of kin?”

“Her parents are in Miami. I’ll –”

“I’ll call them,” Sam said, “and arrange for them to fly up here.”

The surgeon nodded. “Good. I’ll have a nurse let you know when she’s ready for visitors.”

“Thank you.” Sam shook the doctor’s hand before he left.

Tyler sank into the nearest chair.

“Ty, she got through the hardest part. Mira’s a fighter, she’ll got through this.” Mackie sat beside him.

Tyler couldn’t speak. Jesus, he could barely think. As a medic he understood Mira’s injuries completely. There is only so much a surgeon can do, the body has to want to heal, want to come back. What the surgeon hadn’t said is that there’s always a chance it doesn’t.

Thirty minutes later, Tyler stood in the ICU staring at the woman who had rocked his world. Hooked up to a ventilator, she had various tubes and a drip attached to her small body. All were normal for her condition, but seeing bright, sassy Mira so quiet crushed him. Sitting beside the bed, he took one of her hands in his and brought it to his lips. He wanted so badly to be the man she wanted, she needed, the man she thought he was.

Goddammit, he wished things were different. She deserved a man who could love her unconditionally. A man who could protect her, keep her safe, and open himself up to be loved and to love. Not one that caused her this much pain.

“You have no idea how much I care about you, Mira. I think I may love you, and that makes this even harder. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and if things were different, I’d make you mine and never let you go. But I can’t bear to see you hurt. I can’t stand by and see more people I care about suffer. I can’t have you and then lose you.”

Tyler squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back tears. Relationships meant sharing feelings, trusting each other, and he wasn’t ready to do that. Maybe he never would be. Leaving her now would be a shitty thing to do and his team, fuck, they would not forgive him for it. Yet he couldn’t stay. He’d been kidding himself the past few days thinking, maybe, with Claire’s help, he could do this. Now it wasn’t just Mira he had to leave, but his team, too. He’d gone too far with his team leader and his captain.

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